My wife about 2-3 months ago asked if she could write a letter to our oldest son biological father (Jonathan) who is in prison so that he could start to get to know him. So I agreed. After several correspondents back in forth she asked me if it would be okay if she took Jonathan's mother to see him since she have never seen her son who has been in prison 20 years. Doing the Christian thing I told her that would only be right. While on the trip my wife made a mistake and left her IPad behind. I logged on to her IPad and noticed letter after letter full of erotic/love to Jonathan. I called her and asked her about it she told me I was not suppose to find out this way she was sorry. After she got home we talked and she explained to me she's been unhappy the last two years of our marriage and it has been over along time ago. The reason she says she is so unhappy is because I didn't show her all the emotions she needed and later I found out I have not pleased her sexually in the last 4 years. Then she told me that she was not happy about all the weight I have gained. I know I lacked emotions in our marriage and sometimes I could be down right mean to my wife. I was never because I didn't love her but we have a very hectic life 5 children with autism or ADHD or a combination of both. I often through the marriage had to work two jobs and through it all my wife was sick and hospitalized a lot.
I have apologized over and over again about not showing her the love and attention she needed through our marriage but now she seems so cold and told me she's in love with both of us and she don't know what to do. I love and have always loved my wife more then life itself but now I think I have lost her. Earlier today I held her in my arms and told her how much I love her and how beautiful she was to me that made her angry. He explained how could you do this to us if you can do it now? Why not years ago? I don't know why? I ask myself this same question everyday. I don't even care about the letters I just want my wife back the sweet, gentle, kind one who was madly in love with me. I don't know what to do I need my wife but more I show her how much she means to me the angrier she becomes. I'm lost I don't know what to do or if I can even live a productive life without her. The more I say we can work through this the more she tells me I don't believe we can. My God our 15 year anniversary is this Tuesday and she just seems so cold. I'm crying everyday over this (and I'm not a man who cries very easy). Please help what can I do to work through all the hurt , pain, and devastation I have caused her?
I have apologized over and over again about not showing her the love and attention she needed through our marriage but now she seems so cold and told me she's in love with both of us and she don't know what to do. I love and have always loved my wife more then life itself but now I think I have lost her. Earlier today I held her in my arms and told her how much I love her and how beautiful she was to me that made her angry. He explained how could you do this to us if you can do it now? Why not years ago? I don't know why? I ask myself this same question everyday. I don't even care about the letters I just want my wife back the sweet, gentle, kind one who was madly in love with me. I don't know what to do I need my wife but more I show her how much she means to me the angrier she becomes. I'm lost I don't know what to do or if I can even live a productive life without her. The more I say we can work through this the more she tells me I don't believe we can. My God our 15 year anniversary is this Tuesday and she just seems so cold. I'm crying everyday over this (and I'm not a man who cries very easy). Please help what can I do to work through all the hurt , pain, and devastation I have caused her?
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