Quick synopsis: I was a bad husband, porn replaced sex with my wife for years, no emotional intimacy, limited sex, I was an ass to her, she was fed up after years of this and I found a notebook with bills written out, apartment complexes, ect. Confronted her and she said yes I am leaving you. We lived together for a couple more months through the 2013 holidays and she moved out in January. I went into panic mode, begged pleaded, went to IC, co-dependents anonymous would have done anything to get her back. We have a 10 Yo son. I did some investigation and determind she had picked up an EA with a younger worker who she supervised. She came back for a few months in early 2014, we shared intimacy and looked like things were gonna get better but then paranoi set in and she started checking out again and the night before out beach trip with her family she said she is gonna seek divorce. I was devastated, she went back to her apartment. A few months late r we sold the family home and both her and I purchased separate smaller homes while still married within 5 miles of each other. I assumed her EA was heating up and said freak it and began drinking excessively, online dates, she kept my son mostly, I did not do anything to better myself other than working out, looking pretty good and ended up having a fling with a 20 year old, sex multiple times. I was 39 at the time and my wife is 40. Every now and again I would have dinner with wife at her house. One night in Early sept she asked me if I wanted to go to a cabin rental which we did quite often when married. I said yes and asked her to come over to my house that night and we proceeded to have sex. I asked her what the hell happened and she said it was the guy at work coming on strong that sealed the deal for her as far as leaving me. We proceeded to be together and I did not tell her about the 20 year old. Inncut all ties with the 20 YO. I experienced a UTI and my wi fe did and went to the doctor. I assumed I had and std so told the wife I had sex with a young woman. Turns out it was not an std, she was furious as you might imagine. It was a rough month. We survived it and ended up selling both homes and moved into a single larger home in March 2015. I learned that her coworker requested to transfer from my wife's unit due to "home stress" it was causing him. He had a GF and young child together. And his GF was jealous of my wife. I don't know what happened between my wife and the guy, he was just giving her the eye and touching her hand getting her butterflies racing or it could have been worse, she says nothing happened.
My wife keeps saying now that I'm trying but can't get over the fact I slept with someone else. I understand that. The guy is still working with her and my gut tells me that she is talking with him again and I believe there was very limited contact with them after he demanded to leave her unit for sometime. Either I have a wife that won't forgive me for sleeping with someone when we were not together anymore or she is again entering an EA. she just bought the new shades of gray book. It feels like a repeat of 2013/2014. I feel my appetite going away, constant obsession over this, just wanting her to show some affection. We have sex but other than that there is very little there but a peck on the lips each morning and night. She has her walls halfway up. We are reconciled but I feel she can jump ship anytime all it takes is one instance. I need your help folks, I love my wife, made terrible mistakes. I am very low at this time, probably clingy. Is there anything I can do to guide her back to me completely. Or is this thing likely dead and I am living on borrowed time. She denies anything is going on with the guy at work. She is with me on nights and weekends. Man I really love her but feel I am gonna lose her again and maybe that is my faith for the sins I have committed. Please help with you advice. I only drink subtle and don't talk to any other girls. I just want my wife back.
My wife keeps saying now that I'm trying but can't get over the fact I slept with someone else. I understand that. The guy is still working with her and my gut tells me that she is talking with him again and I believe there was very limited contact with them after he demanded to leave her unit for sometime. Either I have a wife that won't forgive me for sleeping with someone when we were not together anymore or she is again entering an EA. she just bought the new shades of gray book. It feels like a repeat of 2013/2014. I feel my appetite going away, constant obsession over this, just wanting her to show some affection. We have sex but other than that there is very little there but a peck on the lips each morning and night. She has her walls halfway up. We are reconciled but I feel she can jump ship anytime all it takes is one instance. I need your help folks, I love my wife, made terrible mistakes. I am very low at this time, probably clingy. Is there anything I can do to guide her back to me completely. Or is this thing likely dead and I am living on borrowed time. She denies anything is going on with the guy at work. She is with me on nights and weekends. Man I really love her but feel I am gonna lose her again and maybe that is my faith for the sins I have committed. Please help with you advice. I only drink subtle and don't talk to any other girls. I just want my wife back.
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