Well it's been a few years from earlier post and I am still living with a stonewalling wife. Lately we have agreed on a boundary (Dr. Henry Cloud) that when she loses her temper that she needs to say "I need some time to cool off and I will come back when I'm ready". I also told her that if she does not come back, I will reminder her once that she is responsible to come back to me to discuss it and resolve the issue. Well the other night (12 days ago) she storms out of the room in a fit of rage because I wanted to talk about a matter that she just wanted to demand on me and end the conversation. When she walked off I reminded her that if she wants to do that, that's fine but you need to come back to me when you have cooled off. She replied..."NEVER"
2 days later I tried through Facebook to communicate the need for her to come back to me to talk and she just called me a controller etc.. Finally after a few exchanges she didn't even respond to me nor read the inbox. So, I blocked her form FB and that way she will need to come to me in person like a mature adult to discuss.
Well it's been 12 days and we haven't said a word to each other. She does not want to be on the same room I am in and tries to stay busy doing other things.
There is a part of me that says I am dealing with a person that has some real problems and if I don't take the high road and go to her as many times as it takes to get her to talk about it then we will eventually end our marriage. But the other part of me is saying that is what "boundaries" is all about and that I should hold the fort or I am continuing to enable her treatment to me.
Am I being stubborn? or Am I feeling the pain of holding my ground?
2 days later I tried through Facebook to communicate the need for her to come back to me to talk and she just called me a controller etc.. Finally after a few exchanges she didn't even respond to me nor read the inbox. So, I blocked her form FB and that way she will need to come to me in person like a mature adult to discuss.
Well it's been 12 days and we haven't said a word to each other. She does not want to be on the same room I am in and tries to stay busy doing other things.
There is a part of me that says I am dealing with a person that has some real problems and if I don't take the high road and go to her as many times as it takes to get her to talk about it then we will eventually end our marriage. But the other part of me is saying that is what "boundaries" is all about and that I should hold the fort or I am continuing to enable her treatment to me.
Am I being stubborn? or Am I feeling the pain of holding my ground?
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