I am gonna humble myself. Yes, sometimes I am an angry person and sometimes I don't fight fair and say things I later regret. My husband doesn't fight that unfair though he can be snobby and mean but he doesn't "loose it" and I do.
My husband has "cold" anger and I have "hot" anger.
I asked my husband to tell me when I am being unfair again so that we maybe could have a break but he forgot and we fought ugly again.
No, we did not fight lately but I want to learn it anyway because one day we will fight again. I am pretty sure and I want to behave decent.
So I think we need to quarrel sometimes because my husband is behaving like a bag of ****s, but I want to ask him more loving to stop being a bag of ****s.
Going deep into self-psychoanalysis... I am not good at this...
I come from a loving family and later on my family was well-off but when they were born they were poor. My parents had children gallore and while they treated us well small wonder they did expect us to work hard when we where young (later, when they had more money not so) and made no fuss around us. Being Christian they rather expected us to serve others.
Now I have that husband who is a no nonsense kind of man and wants me to work hard because we have a demaninding life-style. Actually I don't have the time to write this because it means something will be left undone *lol*... and than sometimes I feel like I am his servant and he is a boss and what a demanding boss he is. At the same time he sometimes opts out.
He has works a lot and he has expectations for himself. Like failure is not an option, my dad had the same opinion about himself and the family but not for others. E.g. he did want us to act better than others.
I on the other side don't want to be better than others. I just want a relaxed life.
Another reason: I cannot life with people who give me no emotional feedback. My husband can have a bland face, like smiling, doing a thousand yard stare when I tell him I am unhappy with something he does, I hate this.
That is the things I can think of. The reasons I can think of.
I have alsways been a more emotional kind of person, that's just how I am. I don't want to change this but hope I could be less angry when I am angry.
My husband has "cold" anger and I have "hot" anger.
I asked my husband to tell me when I am being unfair again so that we maybe could have a break but he forgot and we fought ugly again.
No, we did not fight lately but I want to learn it anyway because one day we will fight again. I am pretty sure and I want to behave decent.
So I think we need to quarrel sometimes because my husband is behaving like a bag of ****s, but I want to ask him more loving to stop being a bag of ****s.
Going deep into self-psychoanalysis... I am not good at this...
I come from a loving family and later on my family was well-off but when they were born they were poor. My parents had children gallore and while they treated us well small wonder they did expect us to work hard when we where young (later, when they had more money not so) and made no fuss around us. Being Christian they rather expected us to serve others.
Now I have that husband who is a no nonsense kind of man and wants me to work hard because we have a demaninding life-style. Actually I don't have the time to write this because it means something will be left undone *lol*... and than sometimes I feel like I am his servant and he is a boss and what a demanding boss he is. At the same time he sometimes opts out.
He has works a lot and he has expectations for himself. Like failure is not an option, my dad had the same opinion about himself and the family but not for others. E.g. he did want us to act better than others.
I on the other side don't want to be better than others. I just want a relaxed life.
Another reason: I cannot life with people who give me no emotional feedback. My husband can have a bland face, like smiling, doing a thousand yard stare when I tell him I am unhappy with something he does, I hate this.
That is the things I can think of. The reasons I can think of.
I have alsways been a more emotional kind of person, that's just how I am. I don't want to change this but hope I could be less angry when I am angry.
Put the internet to work for you.
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