| I hope I don't make a fool of myself here. I have never asked for support from anyone before, especially strangers. But I don't know what to do anymore and I am becoming very unhealthy stressing over it. I have even considered ending my life over this but I have three beautiful children and I could never do that to them. Here is my story: Both my wife and I are 37 years old. Today is our 12th Anniversary. For about 1 1/2 yrs my wife started to become very distant from me and at times the entire family. She would seem to like being on the computer and the phone texting than doing anything else. In February of this year she was in the bedroom and I asked her what was wrong and bought up that she seemed distant. She said she did not love me anymore and wanted a divorce. She said that she had been thinking about this for many years and was not just a spur of the moment decision. I did not know what to do. I was so shocked. She said that I never gave her the feeling that I loved her or the attention that she needed and now has to think about herself. She said that she tried to make it work many times but I did not see it or catch on or something. I guess I was very blind as to what was going on. I have a very stressful job so I do carry that around with me. I also was on medication that took the life out of me. I d id not want to talk to people and just sit around all the time. It was supposed to do the opposite. We went to a marriage counselor in May. The counselor asked "what can we do here to get this marriage back on track". My wife said "nothing i want out now". The counselor was some what shocked that she would not talk about anything. Session lasted about 10min, he gave us some information on how to do the divorce papers and sent us on our way. That same month my wife moved all of her things down to the basement and has lived there ever since. She still come up stairs to watch TV with us, she eats with us, she does everything she did before except sleep in our bedroom. I figured that she would have the papers drawn up and given to me right after that. But she never did. She wanted me to do the paper work. I told her it was her idea she needs to do them. It is August 25th and I have yet to see them. In July I took my kids out to see their grandparents (both sides). I needed some time to think. When I go back I decided that my love for my wife is too strong to let this just end. I stopped taking all my medications so I was in my frame of mind and not some drug induced state. It was hell but I made it through. When I felt the time was right I told her everything that was in my heart. I told her I loved her and would do anything to keep this marriage. She said I never shared feelings before so why now. I started going to the gym, being nice when I was around her, telling her how good she looks, etc. etc. She told me on the 12th of August that she will hold off on the divorce papers but she does not love me and never will. I was actually happy but very sad at the same time. I started reading everything I could about being a good husband and how to save a marriage. I found out that alot of what I was doing was actually pushing her away so I stopped sending her texts and sayin g things like I lover her. I just continue to be nice and helpful, but at the same time leave her alone. I hope this is all making sense. Things took a turn the other day when I found out that she has been talking to numerous guys on internet chat rooms. What I read was not just talking, there was a lot of sexual things going on. This was like a kick in the gut. I would have never thought that she would do this. This ate at me so bad that I feel like I have the flu all the time. I finally asked her last night about it. I first asked if she has been with anyone else while we have been married. She said she would never tell me either way. As far as the guys online she said they were people in her support group. I don't know what support group she is in, but she has never talked to me the way she talked to these guys. I asked her if in her heart does she see this marriage continuing, she said no. She does not love me anymore and all the nice things, compliments etc. I have been giving out just makes her uncomfortable because she says that is not the true me. I don't know what to do at this point. I need to look out for my kids. A part of me says to tell her to get out but I am afraid she will take the kids and I will not see them everyday. She does not have a job or any other money so. If she did I suppose she would have been gone a while ago. Do i tell her to leave? Do I just let her stay for the kids sake and just be nice and helpful around the house and just go on like nothing happened? I am truly at a loss here. I love her very much and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Does anyone have any advice? | |||
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