Sudden breakup after 10 years, advice?

Hi. Im adam, im 32 my now ex partner is 37 we have 3 kids 1,5,8 yrs. Our relationship ended suddenly last saturday when going to bed as usual, she turned to me and said shes not happy. To cut a long story short, i cried and protested all night to know avail. She was fed up with how our relationship had gone and in felt she had fallen out of love with me. We had just come back from a weeks holiday which was ok, not great because i suffer from ocd, anxiety etc and i was moaning about being bored. Anyway, basically i havent been able to get her to really talk but she did raise quite issues and said it was the result of lots of little things, not having enough money, how i was socially, i.e anxious and wanted to go etc, i didnt comfort her when her nan died who was like a mother to her, i just generally didnt listen when she complained about something. Now in my defence although she did drop hints to her unhappiness i just presumed she was alright because she just got on with it, ive told her if id have realised what i was doing i would have listened etc. I think she was just bored with being a housewife, cooking cleaning, looking after kids, we never went out because neither of us asked, she felt i didnt want to but i felt the same. We didnt do much at the weekend because she felt i was anxious whilst out and didnt enjoy it, also our 5 yr old has autism and is absoloutely terrible when out, tantrums etc and it does spoil it hence we just stayed it. Ive told her i realise now that we got stuck in a rut and apologised for missing all the signs, ive told her i love her immensly and im ashamed i missed the signs and ignored her hints. Im prety sure its mostly my fault, shes absoloutely certain she wants to be on her own and has admitted shes felt relived and even happier since the breakup. After ive wrote all this im not even sure what advice i need, it seems obvious ive ruined our relationship and its over and done. I dont think theres anyone else, although im not sure, she had started using facebook a lot lately and with losing her nan in the last year im suspicious shes been talking to someone online, i do know she has lots of female fb friends she talks to so that could be nowt. Is it just a case of letting go? ive been thru a rollercoaster this week, ive felt so lost and sick im now starting to think it going to be something i have to live with, that ive fucked up and iv lost her probably to a more considerate man at some point, gutted.

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