Why is intimacy a fight?

I have been married for 34 yrs. and throughout these yrs I have been faithful. I know this is rare in our day and age however in the past 6 to 7 yrs. intimacy and sex has become a fight when ever I bring the subject up. This includes any efforts I make to be romantic. In fact, in these past years I do not believe my wife and I have had sex more than 10 to 15 time. Furthermore, when I bring the subject up her response is that I am obsessed. Now in the first half of our marriage we had a lot of sex, then when our kids became teenagers this started to fall of, however this was, I believe natural, simple because of the way our lives were at that time. Today, and over the formerly state number of years our sons are grown men married and one with his own kids. To me it's like being young again! The opposite is true for my wife. In short she has become a "Nun", (none). This is frustrating to me because I only want to be with her, after all I love her. In addition it is my profound opinion that sex is the greatest with the true emotions of love. Yet this has no effect on her. Now the only thing she seem interested in is her job which is an important one and the Pittsburg Steelers, and anything else outside of these subjects is meaningless. There is one exception of course and that is our sons and grandchildren. Further, she has lost all femininity and is more like a tomboy than ever. Moreover, it has gotten to the point that she will find anything to avoid being close to me. She can find all kind of things to do on her days off. For example, she can create all kinds of laundry to be done, even though I have everything done before her days off because I am a writer and subsequently work from home. This therefore allows me a lot of time to handle house work. Especially since I work late nights because it the most quiet time. Now I use laundry as an example because I caught her taking things off hanger and washing them. Her reasoning was that she needed these things and they had been hanging up for a long time so they needed to be cleaned. However, she never wore the items! In addition, to these things I must state certain things. We are both older and we have both put on weight. She has put on more than I but this does not present any problems for me because I love her. It is true that she is far from that 115 lbs. she was when we first meet and married but I am around 20 lbs. overweight myself. I mention this because I noticed that on the few times we have been intimate she always wears something that covers her upper body. Moreover, I have tried many things to get her excited about our intimacy. I have tried the path of rose peddles, the scented candles and low light, candle light dinners. I have even given her sensual messages only to have her roll over kiss me and say I love you then fall asleep. Finally, I am at my wits end. I have emotional and physical needs that have not been meet for a very long time and I really have no idea what to do to change this situation. All I know is there must be some kind of change and soon. My first, and primary choice is to find a way to stir her up if possible. So if anyone has an idea please get back with me openly or personally. Next my second choice and least desired, is to have an extramarital affair. Of course I have been outside of this life style for so long I would not even know how to begin! In my youth I was very active when it came having young women in my life, and only after meeting my wife did I become a "1 women man". In either case if anyone has any suggestions I am very open to responses of any kind, ideas or advice on either way. All I know is my life has to change soon or I am going to burst at the seams. In sum, I need an incredible life change in this area.:(

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