A Nine Year Cloud

I'm not even sure where to start, this story is so long, but will try to keep it brief. I have been married for 6 years, have 2 small children. Before I met my wife, she had a 2-year affair with a married man while living in a different state, his wife never found out. Early in our relationship, while snooping, I discovered a sex tape, printed emails, love letters, and journals concerning their affair. I didn't do anything, as I didn't want to admit to snooping, and figured it all happened before I'd met her anyway, so was none of my business. A few months later, she accidentally sent me a sexual text that was meant for him, which blew everything wide open. I looked at her phone bills, and discovered she was talking to him on almost a daily basis. After months of arguing, she finally agreed to let him go. Fast forward a few months, just before I am going to propose to her - I look at her phone and see she is calling and 'sexting' him again. Naturally, I don't propose, and we go through the whole ordeal again. Promises to stop - yet again. Now fast forward three years. One child, and she leaves her email open on our computer, where I discover she started emailing him again. Again with the excuses and promise that she will truly stop this time. I told her that if it ever happens again I will divorce her, that she is hurting me, and should let this guy go. Now fast forward two more years. Yesterday I went to log onto facebook, she had not logged off, and I see that she recently AGAIN started emailing him. She claims they are simply friends, and the emails are pretty harmless, although he call her beautiful, and asks her to come see him (she is due to travel through his area soon)- to which she replies "I can't, I will have my kids with me." Not 'I just want to be friends, or don't think it would be right, etc'. So what do I do now? I told her last night I am not willing to share her with him, that even if they aren't having a physical relationship, this has been our one and only issue - that unfortunately keeps rearing its head. Please give advice! I am kind of leaning towards separating, because I can no longer trust her, and although she will most likely promise to stop contact, how can I believe her this time?

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