Stuck in the middle

Hi I'm a newbie and looking for some sound advice as i'm stuck. My husband, call him Steve, and i got married 6 years ago. we have a beautiful healthy and confident 4 year old. i think we did good as parents but as husband and wife we always had battles. he was very possessive, restricted me from seeing my friends and destroyed my confidence. it got worse after my daughter was born. i always felt that he put his own family first and i came 3rd down the line after his family, my daughter then me. i tried to talk with him, tried marriage counselling, admitted everything was my fault, as he was and still is never wrong in any arguement and will never apologise, but i'm still here with him. a year ago i happened to meet an old friend of mine, call him Dexter, we knew each other for 15 years, but lost contact for the last 12 years as we lived in different countries. he was a good friend, and we had some great times 15 years ago. i always wished i could find him again. and then i did last year. we met after work one day to catch up, he had just gotten divorced, his wife had custody of their 3 kids. he was on his own. we kissed that night we met and i think we both knew that things would not end there, at least it did that night anyway. we have continued to see each other up till this day, we have become best friends again, we talk every single day, we have so much in common and i am so happy, my heart felt free ever since the day we met. But its an affair. i have neglected to try to work things out with my husband since seeing Dexter, as maybe i was in a fantasy world in my head. i suggested to my husband this week that we sit and talk about where our marriage i s heading, he suggested that our marriage was over and that he was thinkign about moving out. when i talked to dexter about it, he thought i should work things out with my husband! he said its not easy raising a 4 year old on my own, and i should try to make things right between my husband and myself. he gave me up in a split second! i am stuck as i thought dexter had true feelings for me and now he is asking me to go back to something that he knows will be me living a lie, as i am not in love with my husband. i love him but not in love with him. i am so confused right now....i don't know if this makes any sense at all.but this is how i feel in my head, really confused. does anyone see where i'm coming from and could rationalise this?:scratchhead:

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