The next steps

Back story How I'm feeling now So next week I'm moving out. This hurts cause I'm going to be away from my son, my house that we just bought, the dog, and her. I cope by reading, working, jogging (before all this I havent jogged in about 10 years), counseling, and coaching. I can't believe this is happening but I've learned so much about myself. From jogging I learn how weak and frail I am but how I feel stronger by pushing myself. Reading has shown me that there are things to do to fix things but that I'm not alone. Counseling and coaching has shown me that I have a lot of faults that caused a poisoned relationship. My parent's relationship defined what a relationship was and that wasnt healthy. I feel that this shallow weak person that I was is broken and I need to rebuild. The only thing I feel that I'm missing now is good humor. Not the humor where I lashed out at other people to help deal with my insecurities like a bully in high school. The situation The wife and I are amicable though a bit distant. We talk about work, our son, the house, or anything else going on. I'm doing a 180 by giving her some space and not mentioning the relationship. I've noticed some small changes in her life by me being a bit distant. When I went to get a smoke she said "oh you're going, i'm coming too". She'll start conversations with me when I'm walking thru the living room. I was in charge of making dinner in the past but when she was ordering a pizza she asked if I wanted anything. Today she was walking down the stairs, paused, then came back to thank me for doing the laundry. Things are amicable. Now I've slipped up and Im kicking myself for it. A few days ago we had a long talk about some health issues and we ended up talking until 2 am. She was livid the next morning cause of her lack of sleep before work. Another slip up was I noticed she wasnt wearing her ring. I asked about it and she said that she takes it off for work. I shouldnt have kept going but I asked if she was going to wear it during the next 6 months. Today after a jog I came back and asked if she wanted to sit outside with me before she left for work to get a smoke. I commented that I was all sweaty and disgusting and she said that during the hot days she gets like that as well. I said she still looks beautiful. She was silent for a sec and then she said thank you. I feel hopeless cause I'm going to move out and I'm going to not only lose the good thats been happening but also the bad. I've done a 180 from acting like a paranoid, controlling, unsympathetic, egotistical jerk. I'm friendlier with her family, I'm listening and validating what she says, I said "I'll support whatever decision you make" when we talked about our son. I hope she doesnt view this changes as a way to get her back but something I really need to change in my life.

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