Insanity.

So, I've only posted here a few times, I've mostly trolled and looked at everyone else's stories trying to gain insight into what the heck I was actually going through. My wife and I separated a little over a year ago. She's been with the OM the entire time, they were engaged, had a kid, etc, etc... Last Tuesday (Aug 13th) our divorce was officially ready to be finalized, so being that we are pretty good friends at this point I call her up and say "Hey, you know what today is right?!" and she says yes and tells me we should call the lawyers and get it all ready, so I come back with "Wow, you must be really excited to be rid of me, hahaha" Then bam... I get "I'm not happy" "I blame myself" "I f**ked up" "I can't stand OM" "I don't want to sign the papers, I want to try this again". I understand that an affair, even if Emotional only, is still not something to be taken lightly when considering R. But I really, really, really love this woman still. We were together since high school, had two kids together, lived in a few different states just her and I. We were inseparable, She told her mom about everything and her mother is super excited and telling her things like "you married your best friend, thats not something you just let go of." The reason I'm getting all this out is that even though she is getting her sh*t together to leave OM's house (she's in his family's religious compound) It sure is taking a while, and I just can't shake the feelings that even though she's telling her family members that we are going to work it out, she's already hired a baby sitter for her other kid in my town, she's setting out to separate finances. I still can't shake the feeling that this might all be BS. I'm cynical by nature, I want my family back more than ANYTHING in the world... Am I just being impatient? She is doing things like telling OM to get a job, bringing him to interviews so he can be "self-sufficient" (he's jobless for 1+ year now, she's been supporting him) She says she's doing this for when the kid goes there he can support them and what not, but it still bothers me that she's helping this guy who treats her like a piece of garbage/ATM. I'm not asking for judgement on her, believe me I did some things in our marriage that would make any woman cringe (nothing weird lol) What I'm asking is for some insight from women who have been in similar situations, and normal people who have this virtue they call "patience" Should I just calm down? She told me to call off the divorce and not to sign the papers, but I don't want to call anything off until she is out of that house and we are "dating" again (she's not moving back in right away) HELP!

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