Fun in the bedroom, boring everywhere else.

Trying to improve our recreational time together is not going well at all! When we are in bed, we cuddle, we talk, we laugh, we touch, we're freely affectionate. He is open and relaxed, confident and I respond to this. Once we leave the bedroom, game over. The shutters come down, I can see him filtering every thought and every move. I can see him trying to weigh his every conversational option. As a result, I don't enjoy being with him outside the bedroom. We have talked about this, but he insists he is not doing this. two years ago I offered to learn to play golf so we could play together. I got a distinctly tepid response so I dropped it. He has recently agreed to attend dancing lessons with me, to which he got a tepid response from me. It's not that I don't want him to learn to dance, because I really do! I just don't see him able to relax and enjoy it at all. I don't want to see him in yet more situations where I have to draw him out, make him feel comfortable, help him to relax. Men, I feel like I have done a LOT in the last 5 years specifically to bring out his confidence, knowing that my years of dysfunction caused him to lose it. In the bedroom he is more fun than he has ever been, even back when we were dating! Is this something I can fix or is this something he owns? If he doesn't see or agree that he becomes distant and closed off outside the bedroom, then what do I do?

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