Lost... again

I am so lost and empty. My wife and I have been together for since December of 2007. Before we were married, we went off and on a number of times at both of our behests. She was bi-polar and would hate everyone, and I would get tired of dealing with her bull****. We moved in together during our first year. A number of times during the second year, she either broke up with me or couldn't decide whether or not to stay with me in favor of her best friend (male). A lot of emotional cheating. I tried to be understanding. Our third year, she joined a website for cheaters and while she met several men she "only" slept with two of them. I took her back. Our third year was spent recovering from her infidelity. Our fourth year was passed, mostly, in harmony. I understood when she told me about having thoughts and dreams about her ex-boyfriend (different guy from before) and then, at the end, more emotional cheating with him. Our fifth year, just after a really dark period, she got pregnant and we got married. The pregancy was awful to deal with her. She screamed at me every day and threatened divorce a lot. Full-disclosure, the day of our wedding, I kissed an old friend of mine when we both realized that we had feelings for each other during the conversation where I had to tell her that my wife-to-be did not want her at the wedding. Fast-forward to now: after weeks of fighting, we said that we wanted a divorce and took some time apart to clear our heads and while she was gone I went through her email and found messages and pictures to her ex-boyfriend. After a week apart, she came home and left the next day when he drove up from TX to pick her up. Before she left, I told her about the friend from our wedding day. She had sex with her old-new boyfriend that night. Two days later, she flew back and told me that she had made (yet another) mistake and wanted to try to work it out. If it wasn't for our child, I'd tell her to pound sand/FOAD, but I really don't know what to do. I can give answers to any questions but I just got home off a 12-hour shift and need sleep. Thank you for letting me vent.

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