| I am shocked, mad and humiliated. A bit of background: My STBX is Muslim and MOST marriages in their family are still arranged. Women can convert, but technically forcing a woman to do so is a big no no, and a sin. Muslim men can marry a woman who believes in "the book". I am not religious so it was important for him to understand that I would never convert, to any religion. Throughout our marriage I have been treated differently by his family, sometimes even very rudely. I even had someone get in my face once, who I VERY quickly put in her place. When we got engaged some people asked if he was sure instead of congratulating us, or asked if I was pregnant! I was not allowed to attend certain functions (where his family was still trying to find him a bride!) But my STBX had a very rocky relationship with his mother and I saw a lot of anger (disproportionate) and disrespect. There were times where I put him in his place regarding this, I think she respected me for this. BTW I suspect he may have some borderline personality issues... His mother and I had a good relationship eventually, and when his abuse became overwhelming and he kicked me out at first his mother stopped talking to him. Even writing him a LONG letter (he was very angry regarding this) about how he treated me and about how he treats her. Imagine my surprise when I went to a second hand resale to drop a few books off (as I may need to downsize) and heard her voice. I was having a friendly convo with her when she all of a sudden started berating me in front of 15+ people. He needs to get on with his life, how can I be so horrible, cruel and selfish? They are looking for a wife for him have so she can have some grandchildren and she can't understand why I'm stalling and causing him so much pain etc. I need to take care of this ASAP and let him live his life. I assume what happened it that he has been feeding his mom lies, and that she doesn't understand the level of fear and abuse he made me suffer (and still does). Ironically she was married to his father who was a serial cheater, liar, abuser and alcoholic- who made her son believe for 20 years that she was the bad one. And so they never had a good relationship. I also assume he has done the same with his father. So I'm kind of torn. On the one hand he seems to be very influenced by people, once his family said we should not have a wedding and he called me while I was out of town and told me this. If they say jump, he says how high. My situation is not unique because his older brother married a non muslim and they are heading down the same path, meanwhile his younger brother is fine in an arranged marriage. It is no coincidence that every single one of his relationships ended because the woman was horrible, as did the arranged engagements. Every single woman was cheated on, and I think he cheated on me too based on things I have heard. He is always wronged and has no accountability. With all the strip clubs, throwing things, locking me out, stealing finances etc.. should I tell her all this? I don't mean this as a revenge tactic, I mean this so maybe she can knock some sense into him or at least try to have him act rationally. What are your thoughts? I was supposed to go file some paperwork today but I have 2 interviews so I won't be able to :( | |||
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