I'm a 23 year old male. I started hanging out with a girl back at the end of October due to a mutual interest in dance music. We went to a festival and a couple of gigs together, and kept in contact sporadically via social media. I secretly harboured feelings for her, but didn't let on as I didn't feel there was any chemistry between us. Recently however, I decided I would make my interest known. So I texted her 2 weekends ago on a Friday night to see what her plans were for the night. She replied saying she had an exam the next day but would be up for doing something tomorrow. She also suggested going to see a Dj playing in March. So I texted her on the Saturday night to see if she was planning on going out at all. She said she was tired after the exam so was just going to stay in and watch a tv series. I was hoping to get her out and try flirting with her, but seeing as that wasn't happening, I said I would do it via text instead. So I said to her ''Ah right that's a shame, I'll chat to you soon x''. By expressing my disappointment at her not going out and leaving an x (we had never left x's before) I felt I was definitely hinting to her. She replied with quite a flirtatious message, saying she would love to head out but was wrecked, but that she would chat to me soon. She also left a wink face and an x. That text exchange wasn't the typical friend to friend text messages we had been having before, so I felt she knew I was gauging interest. Whether her reply was a genuine sign of interest or just harmless flirting, only time would tell.
That was 2 and half weeks ago, at the end of February. I was hopeful, but I felt it was her obligation to contact me next if she had genuine interest. I waited 2 weeks, and did not receive a single facebook or text message from her, as well as never seeing her in person. I assumed she wasn't interested, but said that I may as well text her about the Dj. The Dj was playing on Monday night, and I text her on Monday afternoon to see if she was planning on going to the Dj. She replied with the most blunt text ever saying ''Nope, are you?''. I said I was considering it and then asked her if she was planning on going out at all. She replied saying ''I want to head to(name of Dj) but none of my friends are interested even though I offered to buy their ticket'''. There were a couple of more ambiguous text messages after that, but nothing worth going into.
So in other words – I essentially got confirmation that she wasn't interested in me, as well as her seemingly cutting off our friendship with the reference to ''none of my friends are going to it'' even though she knew I was interested in going to it. I replied to that saying that I would have went to the Dj which lead to a few ambiguous text messages from her that I have mentioned above. But there really isn't any point reading into them, and I feel she was just trying to be friendly and flirtatious to make up for her initial bluntness. Overall, I feel I have got closure on the situation and am willing to move on. So yeah, I'm going to move on and I'm not going to initiate contact with her again.. Rejection hurts though, and of course I do feel letdown that she didn't contact me in the past 2 weeks before striking me down so bluntly. There is a chance I may see her around in the next couple of months. Sure, things will be awkward for the next few weeks or whatever.... but there is probably a chance our friendship can resume in a few months time.
Nevertheless, I'm kind of questioning the manner in which she struck me down so bluntly, especially the way she didn't even acknowledge I was one of her friends who may have been interested in going to the Dj. Was she just being very straightforward and honest, to get the message across to me that she isn't interested? I appreciate that it must be an uncomfortable situation for a girl to hang out with a guy when she isn't interested in him romantically, but knows that he thinks that way about her. I may have answered my own question just there, but I'm just wondering if most girls would have perhaps been a bit nicer about it.
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