So my husband had an EA with one of our employees. It has been a long process of trying to decide how to cope. Basically I moved out in December. I decided to not expose the OW to her spouse. Now comes the part where you can all slam me :)
I decided with help from my therapist to just let go of all the anger. I started feeling so much better. I got my focus back, started sleeping better, and was coming out of the dark. Now the part that is weird I started befriending the OW. I started attending social functions that my company paid for and we even went to counselling together. Since I got my life together now my WS wants me back. I have been letting him back on my life just a little bit.
Then last night happened, our business was awarded a big achievement mostly due to the work done by the OW. To celebrate we went to a resort town nearby with a few of the other staff. It was all women so I came along as I had to pay the bill. Needless to say a lot of drinking occurred. The OW, and one other lady were sharing a suite. Short story is I woke up in the middle of the night to go bathroom and found her screwing some guy. She never saw me and I scooted back to the room.
Needless to say I triggered like crazy. After seeing her behaviour I instantly went to a dark place, like no way they only had an EA. Then the guilt about her husband, now I know two times she has done this. I come home and asked my WS if he was telling me the truth. He swears he is. I then asked if he has had any type of sexual behaviour with anybody else beside her and the recent ex girlfriend in the 12 years we have been together. His answer seemed off, his tone of voice was off. When I asked him about taking a lie detector he said no. Then got mad at me and said he had enough of my emotional issues and whether or not he can start dating again.
I didn't tell him about the OW and the man. Am I just projecting her cheating behaviour on him? Either way his reaction was completely wrong correct?
I decided with help from my therapist to just let go of all the anger. I started feeling so much better. I got my focus back, started sleeping better, and was coming out of the dark. Now the part that is weird I started befriending the OW. I started attending social functions that my company paid for and we even went to counselling together. Since I got my life together now my WS wants me back. I have been letting him back on my life just a little bit.
Then last night happened, our business was awarded a big achievement mostly due to the work done by the OW. To celebrate we went to a resort town nearby with a few of the other staff. It was all women so I came along as I had to pay the bill. Needless to say a lot of drinking occurred. The OW, and one other lady were sharing a suite. Short story is I woke up in the middle of the night to go bathroom and found her screwing some guy. She never saw me and I scooted back to the room.
Needless to say I triggered like crazy. After seeing her behaviour I instantly went to a dark place, like no way they only had an EA. Then the guilt about her husband, now I know two times she has done this. I come home and asked my WS if he was telling me the truth. He swears he is. I then asked if he has had any type of sexual behaviour with anybody else beside her and the recent ex girlfriend in the 12 years we have been together. His answer seemed off, his tone of voice was off. When I asked him about taking a lie detector he said no. Then got mad at me and said he had enough of my emotional issues and whether or not he can start dating again.
I didn't tell him about the OW and the man. Am I just projecting her cheating behaviour on him? Either way his reaction was completely wrong correct?
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