So I am in a huge dilemma. A few years ago, my wife of about two years at the time went out drinking with some friends. She got pretty hammered. She wobbled in through the door. Before I could say anything she ripped her clothes and we had a great time. After we were happy and content (and tired). She went into the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep and clean up a bit. Her phone buzzed I picked it up and it was an ex. She had been talking to him prior to coming home for about an hour. There was a picture fully clothed sent and his response (which was the text she just received) was, "that wasn't the picture I was expecting. How about something better?"
I got pissed and confronted her on it immediately. We fought and she said she would not talk to him again. the next morning we talked about it and I told her once again I didn't want her talking to this guy. She eventually said ok.
About a year later, we started to go through some really tough times. We fought all the time, practically argued every time we had a few minutes together. Money, jobs and life was an issue. It continued for a long time. She, to blow off steam went out with her friends again. All of which are single. Came home and when she went to the bathroom I went through her phone. She had sent a picture showing her pulling her shirt down a little, no nip but cleavage and bra. I didnt say anything until I had enough time to cool down. I brought it up later. The fight went nowhere and we ended up worse then we started. We had a rough time for at least two years of our so far five year relationship. Recently she went out again with her girlfriends and she called the same guy and they talked for half an hour. I brought it up again and we had a long talk. She tried to tell me they all talked to him and it was just friendly and catching up. The next day, I researched and used my f riends in the police department found out where this guy lives and works. I went to his work and asked him for a little bit of his time. I asked him if he was f***ing my wife. He said no, it wasnt like that. They have been friends for a long time. Since high school. He said she talks to him about our relationship. He said they have never slept together. Found out he was a veteran too, and he was a pretty good guy. We got a long pretty well. Even inside me i thought if this guy wasnt trying to get with my wife I could see him and I being friends. I called up her best female friend spoke to her about the situation and got some advice from her. Both of these two I told I want to fix my marriage, and I will fight tooth and nail for it.
I dont know what it was inside me but I told her I forgive her for all the past transgression and I don't even care anymore, I just want our relationship to work and for us to move on.
I haven't gone through her phones or anything and its been about a month. We have been getting a long very well, almost no fighting. We have been having sex, intimacy, kissing hugging and general signs of affection. I love this woman to death. I want it to work.
Last week, before she went to work, she dropped her phone and shattered the screen. She asked me to fix her phone. I said sure. I ordered the pieces and they came in today. I fixed her phone and ran a few basic stuf like, network text updating and a few blos filters. I went into a few random apps to make sure they connected and one of them was an aim app. I really had no intention of snooping. Well, it logged in automatically and a conversation she had with this guy came up. she spoke to him about two weeks ago and told him that she missed him. Nothing else was saved.
I am at a point where I dont want to live like this and feel like my wife is two timing me, but at the same time I feel as though our relationship is getting better. I forgive her regardless of what happened in the past, but if she continues this crap I will end it. I have no way of knowing if she is going to go back to her old ways or if we are going to fall apart again. I feel as though my bond to her is growing again. Should I just cut everything and be done or stay and see where it goes. I have tried to get her to go to counseling but she is completely against it. She told me directly to my face she is not talking to this guy anymore. Should I believe her or should I just see it as another one of her lies because she told me since our talk she hasnt spoken to him.
This road isnt just her issue. I had a few problems with my military service. I pushed her away for those two years and we had issues from her and from me. I just recently got on some medicine and have been going to counseling regularly. This has definitely helped me, and probably our relationship. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
We had our turn around fight, the fight that made our relationship start getting better on the 18th of last month. She told him she missed him on the 25 and she talked to him last on the 28th of last month, that I have found out. I haven't looked recently, but she does log out of her Facebook and any chat apps when she is done.
I got pissed and confronted her on it immediately. We fought and she said she would not talk to him again. the next morning we talked about it and I told her once again I didn't want her talking to this guy. She eventually said ok.
About a year later, we started to go through some really tough times. We fought all the time, practically argued every time we had a few minutes together. Money, jobs and life was an issue. It continued for a long time. She, to blow off steam went out with her friends again. All of which are single. Came home and when she went to the bathroom I went through her phone. She had sent a picture showing her pulling her shirt down a little, no nip but cleavage and bra. I didnt say anything until I had enough time to cool down. I brought it up later. The fight went nowhere and we ended up worse then we started. We had a rough time for at least two years of our so far five year relationship. Recently she went out again with her girlfriends and she called the same guy and they talked for half an hour. I brought it up again and we had a long talk. She tried to tell me they all talked to him and it was just friendly and catching up. The next day, I researched and used my f riends in the police department found out where this guy lives and works. I went to his work and asked him for a little bit of his time. I asked him if he was f***ing my wife. He said no, it wasnt like that. They have been friends for a long time. Since high school. He said she talks to him about our relationship. He said they have never slept together. Found out he was a veteran too, and he was a pretty good guy. We got a long pretty well. Even inside me i thought if this guy wasnt trying to get with my wife I could see him and I being friends. I called up her best female friend spoke to her about the situation and got some advice from her. Both of these two I told I want to fix my marriage, and I will fight tooth and nail for it.
I dont know what it was inside me but I told her I forgive her for all the past transgression and I don't even care anymore, I just want our relationship to work and for us to move on.
I haven't gone through her phones or anything and its been about a month. We have been getting a long very well, almost no fighting. We have been having sex, intimacy, kissing hugging and general signs of affection. I love this woman to death. I want it to work.
Last week, before she went to work, she dropped her phone and shattered the screen. She asked me to fix her phone. I said sure. I ordered the pieces and they came in today. I fixed her phone and ran a few basic stuf like, network text updating and a few blos filters. I went into a few random apps to make sure they connected and one of them was an aim app. I really had no intention of snooping. Well, it logged in automatically and a conversation she had with this guy came up. she spoke to him about two weeks ago and told him that she missed him. Nothing else was saved.
I am at a point where I dont want to live like this and feel like my wife is two timing me, but at the same time I feel as though our relationship is getting better. I forgive her regardless of what happened in the past, but if she continues this crap I will end it. I have no way of knowing if she is going to go back to her old ways or if we are going to fall apart again. I feel as though my bond to her is growing again. Should I just cut everything and be done or stay and see where it goes. I have tried to get her to go to counseling but she is completely against it. She told me directly to my face she is not talking to this guy anymore. Should I believe her or should I just see it as another one of her lies because she told me since our talk she hasnt spoken to him.
This road isnt just her issue. I had a few problems with my military service. I pushed her away for those two years and we had issues from her and from me. I just recently got on some medicine and have been going to counseling regularly. This has definitely helped me, and probably our relationship. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
We had our turn around fight, the fight that made our relationship start getting better on the 18th of last month. She told him she missed him on the 25 and she talked to him last on the 28th of last month, that I have found out. I haven't looked recently, but she does log out of her Facebook and any chat apps when she is done.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment