I'm trying to get opinions from various forums, so I hope you guys/gals will indulge me. I'd like to especially hear from the ladies
We are in our mid 40's with no kids.
We are Green Card holders in the US. She was posted from our native country to the US for work and I quit my job to accompany her here. No relatives here for either of us.
My wife has given up on me and our marriage. She says after years of my neglect, not enough attention and disappointment etc. she wants to move out in Spring/Summer (to get her freedom back) and then file for a divorce. As far as I can tell, she has already decided I'm no longer her husband.
I've just found out (and she confirmed) that she has been having a EA with a married man (whose marriage is also supposed to be on the rocks) for almost a year now. She said that she didn't intentionally seek an EA, but she allowed their friendship to blossom because she had already considered our marriage dead and so this was ok.(Rationalizing Hamster) She says the only reason she continued to stay with me in our house is because I have been down on my luck and unemployed. She says she wanted to stay and support me until I could support myself and regain confidence again. However, now that I know about the EA, she has said that it would be better that she move. into the spare room (we used to sleep on the same bed) Despite her EA I still love my wife and would consider reconciliation if she would top the EA. Unfortunately, she is adamant about separation/divorce and still texts the OM everyday I think. She has mentioned that when they do secretly meet up, she confides in him about our problems and he gives her a "Shoulder to cry on" and support etc. I've know that they've already kissed/hugged and my wife SAYS she is avoiding sex with the OM until our divorce goes through. Although, I suspect once she moves out it won't be long that it happens.
I have acknowledged my past errors, put into action corrective measures, but she can't get over the pain of me neglecting her all those years. Every time she thinks back, she would get angry, raise her voice and cry. I now realize that nothing I say or can do will ever convince her to stay, so I'm facing the fact that I will have to let her move out and hope the separation might do us some good.
My dilemma is that I don't know what to do now! Should I insist she leave immediately or let her to stay in the house or wait till Spring?
We are in our mid 40's with no kids.
We are Green Card holders in the US. She was posted from our native country to the US for work and I quit my job to accompany her here. No relatives here for either of us.
My wife has given up on me and our marriage. She says after years of my neglect, not enough attention and disappointment etc. she wants to move out in Spring/Summer (to get her freedom back) and then file for a divorce. As far as I can tell, she has already decided I'm no longer her husband.
I've just found out (and she confirmed) that she has been having a EA with a married man (whose marriage is also supposed to be on the rocks) for almost a year now. She said that she didn't intentionally seek an EA, but she allowed their friendship to blossom because she had already considered our marriage dead and so this was ok.(Rationalizing Hamster) She says the only reason she continued to stay with me in our house is because I have been down on my luck and unemployed. She says she wanted to stay and support me until I could support myself and regain confidence again. However, now that I know about the EA, she has said that it would be better that she move. into the spare room (we used to sleep on the same bed) Despite her EA I still love my wife and would consider reconciliation if she would top the EA. Unfortunately, she is adamant about separation/divorce and still texts the OM everyday I think. She has mentioned that when they do secretly meet up, she confides in him about our problems and he gives her a "Shoulder to cry on" and support etc. I've know that they've already kissed/hugged and my wife SAYS she is avoiding sex with the OM until our divorce goes through. Although, I suspect once she moves out it won't be long that it happens.
I have acknowledged my past errors, put into action corrective measures, but she can't get over the pain of me neglecting her all those years. Every time she thinks back, she would get angry, raise her voice and cry. I now realize that nothing I say or can do will ever convince her to stay, so I'm facing the fact that I will have to let her move out and hope the separation might do us some good.
My dilemma is that I don't know what to do now! Should I insist she leave immediately or let her to stay in the house or wait till Spring?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment