Hey everybody, so I'm having some issues with my wife. I tried talking to her directly about them, but sometimes I just get the feeling I'm bothering her. She is a very neutral women sometimes. I mean sometimes she has this way about her that makes me feel like I'm the female in the relationship(fricking degrading as hell). I'm the type of person who likes to talk about what is on my mind. I rarely hold back my feelings, because I seen the results first hand of people who bottle stuff up. And I'm the kind of guy who cant sleep if something is bothering me. Right now I feel like if I bring this issue to my wife, she's going to brush it off like I'm over reacting. I guess some of my issues are we don't talk as much as I would like to. I mean granted when we are in the house, we do our own things. I play the game on the PS3, she's playing candy crush on the CP and checking her forums for her soap updates etc. But its the time after that, that I have a proble m with. We get in the bed, and she isn't very sexual at all, I always have to suggest things for her to do because she never takes the initiative. She has become lazy sexually or uninvolved. For example if I want to try a different position sexually that requires her to exert some type of energy... she gets frustrated. Sometimes I think she's just content with climaxing and going to sleep. It wasn't like this in the beginning, sex in the beginning was exhilarating, refreshing, reassuring, it was something I looked forward to. Now she barely touches me, and when she does, and I touch her back, its like "gosh, just because I touch you, doesn't mean i want to have sex. Lately I've been apologizing whenever I feel like irk her(demoralizing). Even I feel like sometime I should just man up...It just feels like we're growing apart... Maybe its because I want what I signed up for in the beginning, not the water downed version.
I've tried having this conversation with her in an indirect way by using an example of one of my friends who is married but cheats on his wife. I suggested that maybe my friend who was seeking attention from his wife, and probably wasn't getting it, decided that rather than degrading himself by seeking that attention that he wasn't getting.. he sought it from this other women who from what he told me in a nutshell stroked the hell out of his ego. I was like, when discussing with my wife, that it just goes to show if your not giving your man the attention he needs, there's always a women out there that has no problem.
-maybe Im wrong for thinking this but just like women like to be told nice things, shown affection, and appreciation, men do to. (I call it stroking the ego)
-Not saying I'm going to cheat, but I can now say I have a thorough understanding of why some marry men cheat...
I also feel it is a mans job to compliment his woman, flirt with her occasionally, tend to her needs emotionally, and sexually.
But at the same time it should be returned....
I've never been an insecure man, or lacked confidence.. which is why this situation is even all the more frustrating....
Anyway I look forward to your thoughts/opinions, suggestions. Normally I would never do anything like this.. but I just need to talk to someone about it, so I can stop feeling like I'm beating a dead horse talking to my wife.
I've tried having this conversation with her in an indirect way by using an example of one of my friends who is married but cheats on his wife. I suggested that maybe my friend who was seeking attention from his wife, and probably wasn't getting it, decided that rather than degrading himself by seeking that attention that he wasn't getting.. he sought it from this other women who from what he told me in a nutshell stroked the hell out of his ego. I was like, when discussing with my wife, that it just goes to show if your not giving your man the attention he needs, there's always a women out there that has no problem.
-maybe Im wrong for thinking this but just like women like to be told nice things, shown affection, and appreciation, men do to. (I call it stroking the ego)
-Not saying I'm going to cheat, but I can now say I have a thorough understanding of why some marry men cheat...
I also feel it is a mans job to compliment his woman, flirt with her occasionally, tend to her needs emotionally, and sexually.
But at the same time it should be returned....
I've never been an insecure man, or lacked confidence.. which is why this situation is even all the more frustrating....
Anyway I look forward to your thoughts/opinions, suggestions. Normally I would never do anything like this.. but I just need to talk to someone about it, so I can stop feeling like I'm beating a dead horse talking to my wife.
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