So, I've posted before about my menopausal 50 y.o. wife who has withdrawn from a lot of people and seems depressed. She will be going to IC soon. She has been obsessed with aging, etc. She is not a "hottie" and is losing hair, has dental problems, etc. She seems to be taking the aging thing very hard. Here is the dilemma and I'm not sure if it means anything. I'm 53 btw.
She has been texting and calling a number 2,000 miles away (NYC) who happens to be a 20 y.o. guy for over 6 months. She has also called and texted with his ~20 y.o. girlfriend. But she texts just about everyday and they call each other almost everyday, usually when she is driving home from work. They all three are online game friends. The girlfriend did complain once about all the texts and calls but my wife assured her there was no hanky-panky and things were okay. That's what my wife told me.
So because depressed people make mistakes, I was able to listen in to a partial conversation by means I will not disclose. She proceeded to ask him about college, SAT's, talked about our daughter taking SAT's, etc. Then they talked about his roommate situation and some problems there. She gave him some advice. Then it seems he asked her about our relationship. She then for about 20 minutes complained about all kinds of things. Me trying to make her "talk" when she doesn't want to, saying all kinds of things I do tick her off. She talks well enough to this kid, anyway.
Then she said she wasn't attracted to me. She then complained about some sexual thing we had done (I had already told her we don't have to do that if it makes her uncomfortable). It seems he then asked her something, she said 'he doesn't want that'. Maybe he asked if I wanted a divorce. Then another question, then she said "I'm not interested in that". Idk, maybe telling her she should have an affair. Then there was another question, she giggled and said, "I've never tried those". Idk, a sex toy question? Then he was saying more things and she giggled a lot and said TMI, that's gross, and a few other things. I'm getting professional services to clear up some info I heard. Sounds like she might have said at one point, "if I came there to talk to you, I don't know what I'd do". But I'm not sure that is correct, and then I'm not sure what it means. Does it mean she might want to cheat or is that too ambiguous?
Earlier today I asked her if she discussed our sex life with friends like him or others. She said no. I said come on, you talk to this kid all the time and discuss things, you haven't once mentioned our sex life? She insisted no, and was getting angry at me. She lied.
That's it. To me, it seems odd a 20 y.o. guy and 50 y.o. woman constantly talk and text like this. I also don't think a 20 y.o. college kid would become romantically involved with a 50 y.o. woman who is definitely not a "looker". Especially if he has a young girlfriend. I guess it's happened somewhere so you never know. What do you think? Are they just being candid good friends? Red flags? Mid-life crisis menopausal woman trying to feel young again? Thoughts of women especially appreciated.
She has been texting and calling a number 2,000 miles away (NYC) who happens to be a 20 y.o. guy for over 6 months. She has also called and texted with his ~20 y.o. girlfriend. But she texts just about everyday and they call each other almost everyday, usually when she is driving home from work. They all three are online game friends. The girlfriend did complain once about all the texts and calls but my wife assured her there was no hanky-panky and things were okay. That's what my wife told me.
So because depressed people make mistakes, I was able to listen in to a partial conversation by means I will not disclose. She proceeded to ask him about college, SAT's, talked about our daughter taking SAT's, etc. Then they talked about his roommate situation and some problems there. She gave him some advice. Then it seems he asked her about our relationship. She then for about 20 minutes complained about all kinds of things. Me trying to make her "talk" when she doesn't want to, saying all kinds of things I do tick her off. She talks well enough to this kid, anyway.
Then she said she wasn't attracted to me. She then complained about some sexual thing we had done (I had already told her we don't have to do that if it makes her uncomfortable). It seems he then asked her something, she said 'he doesn't want that'. Maybe he asked if I wanted a divorce. Then another question, then she said "I'm not interested in that". Idk, maybe telling her she should have an affair. Then there was another question, she giggled and said, "I've never tried those". Idk, a sex toy question? Then he was saying more things and she giggled a lot and said TMI, that's gross, and a few other things. I'm getting professional services to clear up some info I heard. Sounds like she might have said at one point, "if I came there to talk to you, I don't know what I'd do". But I'm not sure that is correct, and then I'm not sure what it means. Does it mean she might want to cheat or is that too ambiguous?
Earlier today I asked her if she discussed our sex life with friends like him or others. She said no. I said come on, you talk to this kid all the time and discuss things, you haven't once mentioned our sex life? She insisted no, and was getting angry at me. She lied.
That's it. To me, it seems odd a 20 y.o. guy and 50 y.o. woman constantly talk and text like this. I also don't think a 20 y.o. college kid would become romantically involved with a 50 y.o. woman who is definitely not a "looker". Especially if he has a young girlfriend. I guess it's happened somewhere so you never know. What do you think? Are they just being candid good friends? Red flags? Mid-life crisis menopausal woman trying to feel young again? Thoughts of women especially appreciated.
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