H and I have been married for 43 years. Dh has been taking Clonazepam and Donnetal for over 25 years due to a car accident. I was talking an antidepressant for several years so I think we cancelled each other out as far as the sex drive issue. I admit that I wasn't always interested but, still, we always had great sex when we had it.I have quit taking the antidepressants but he still takes the Clonazepam.
We are both in our mid sixties, are in good shape, crazy about each other and the sex is good when we have it. The problem is that I want it more than he does. Sometimes I think he is a little lazy, sometimes he is tired and sometimes he has a back ache or stomach ache. Bottom line is that I don't get it as much as I would like. I would like it every 3-4 days. I have a difficult time without using a vibrator but he does everything else. We do PIV, anal (which I love but doesn't happen very often,) fingers, bj, hj. He says he is going to give me oral but it doesn't really last for more than 10 minutes, when it happens which is rarely. When we start having sex, if he doesn't O in the first 15 minutes, he may not have one at all which he says he doesn't mind. He just likes being close. Sometimes he loses his erection while we are having sex. Tonight, he told me to use the vibrator and when I came, he would make love to me. No foreplay to speak of. I told him to forget it, I co uld do that on my on time.
About a year ago, he started getting letters from and old girlfriend from 40 years ago. I actually helped him look her up on Facebook and expected a few emails but what ensued what a constant letter writing (from her) until he told her not to write to him anymore. It wasn't really inappropriate until she asked him to lunch ( from adjoining state ) and that's when i put my foot down, very hard. He agreed that she might be reading more into the letter writing than he was so he ended it. I honestly don't think she was up to anything but it still angered me and I felt threatened. It was mostly politics and about her life's problems.
Our sex life did improve after this imagined threat with my initiating often and becoming open to more varieties of sex. It hasn't stopped.
Can one problem be that I am always interested and so he loses interest? I have read of this in other posts.
It is late and I have to get up early but look forward to any imput on this subject.
We are both in our mid sixties, are in good shape, crazy about each other and the sex is good when we have it. The problem is that I want it more than he does. Sometimes I think he is a little lazy, sometimes he is tired and sometimes he has a back ache or stomach ache. Bottom line is that I don't get it as much as I would like. I would like it every 3-4 days. I have a difficult time without using a vibrator but he does everything else. We do PIV, anal (which I love but doesn't happen very often,) fingers, bj, hj. He says he is going to give me oral but it doesn't really last for more than 10 minutes, when it happens which is rarely. When we start having sex, if he doesn't O in the first 15 minutes, he may not have one at all which he says he doesn't mind. He just likes being close. Sometimes he loses his erection while we are having sex. Tonight, he told me to use the vibrator and when I came, he would make love to me. No foreplay to speak of. I told him to forget it, I co uld do that on my on time.
About a year ago, he started getting letters from and old girlfriend from 40 years ago. I actually helped him look her up on Facebook and expected a few emails but what ensued what a constant letter writing (from her) until he told her not to write to him anymore. It wasn't really inappropriate until she asked him to lunch ( from adjoining state ) and that's when i put my foot down, very hard. He agreed that she might be reading more into the letter writing than he was so he ended it. I honestly don't think she was up to anything but it still angered me and I felt threatened. It was mostly politics and about her life's problems.
Our sex life did improve after this imagined threat with my initiating often and becoming open to more varieties of sex. It hasn't stopped.
Can one problem be that I am always interested and so he loses interest? I have read of this in other posts.
It is late and I have to get up early but look forward to any imput on this subject.
Put the internet to work for you.
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