Here I am again looking for advice.
So I found out that I had a biological father that wasn't the same man I grew up with when I was 10 years old. I met him shortly after. I have only seen him 6 times since then (I'm 25 now). Last time I called him was 7 years ago, a year before I met my husband. My dad was in the process of moving to China. He has lived there ever since.
So, my husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have a 3 year old son together. My dad has been wanting me to travel to China (majority of expenses paid) to see all of the neat things he's been doing and experience something "outside of my box". He has never met his grandson. Last year he wanted me to travel there to see the Chinese New Year and I didn't go because I wanted to bring my husband and son and couldn't afford it. We still can't afford it but the offer has sort of (a possibility, maybe, perhaps?) come up again. The ONLY way I would go to China (it would be a week or two trip) is if I could bring my son with me and take care of him myself. If I left him here, the only person available to watch him would be my mother because my husband works. My mother cannot handle my son that long (she's on disability). This is absolutely the ONLY way to be able to go, PLUS I'm sure my dad would enjoy seeing his grandson.
Now I brought this up to my husband. Of course, it was an absolutely no way, no how, not gonna happen sort of answer. I told him to just sit on it because it wasn't even definite - it was just an idea that came up. He wants to save to be able to go too, but that's like a few thousand dollars. My husband can't even save a fifty dollar bill. It would be nice, but doubtful. We have bills and student loans we are paying off. I just don't see that happening.
He tells me he's not going to let the 2 most important things in his life just fly to the other side of the world. I don't blame him. I would have a hard time with that too, but I am a super paranoid mother and have to deal with it. This is an experience we won't have another chance for. My dad IS coming back in the next couple years.
Like I said, I don't blame him for saying "no" but I don't feel right just taking that "no" and not going to China. What is appropriate here? Has anybody left their spouses home alone for 2 weeks while traveling far? I'd just like to have a good plan if this becomes definite. I don't want him to be miserable but I don't want to make the wrong choice and regret it.
So I found out that I had a biological father that wasn't the same man I grew up with when I was 10 years old. I met him shortly after. I have only seen him 6 times since then (I'm 25 now). Last time I called him was 7 years ago, a year before I met my husband. My dad was in the process of moving to China. He has lived there ever since.
So, my husband and I have been together for 6 years and we have a 3 year old son together. My dad has been wanting me to travel to China (majority of expenses paid) to see all of the neat things he's been doing and experience something "outside of my box". He has never met his grandson. Last year he wanted me to travel there to see the Chinese New Year and I didn't go because I wanted to bring my husband and son and couldn't afford it. We still can't afford it but the offer has sort of (a possibility, maybe, perhaps?) come up again. The ONLY way I would go to China (it would be a week or two trip) is if I could bring my son with me and take care of him myself. If I left him here, the only person available to watch him would be my mother because my husband works. My mother cannot handle my son that long (she's on disability). This is absolutely the ONLY way to be able to go, PLUS I'm sure my dad would enjoy seeing his grandson.
Now I brought this up to my husband. Of course, it was an absolutely no way, no how, not gonna happen sort of answer. I told him to just sit on it because it wasn't even definite - it was just an idea that came up. He wants to save to be able to go too, but that's like a few thousand dollars. My husband can't even save a fifty dollar bill. It would be nice, but doubtful. We have bills and student loans we are paying off. I just don't see that happening.
He tells me he's not going to let the 2 most important things in his life just fly to the other side of the world. I don't blame him. I would have a hard time with that too, but I am a super paranoid mother and have to deal with it. This is an experience we won't have another chance for. My dad IS coming back in the next couple years.
Like I said, I don't blame him for saying "no" but I don't feel right just taking that "no" and not going to China. What is appropriate here? Has anybody left their spouses home alone for 2 weeks while traveling far? I'd just like to have a good plan if this becomes definite. I don't want him to be miserable but I don't want to make the wrong choice and regret it.
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