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It's been a bad year

Sop far this year my beloved grandmother died, I was forced to sell my house for pennies on the dollar and leave my hometown so hubby could be closer to work. My adored 13 year old Black Lab/ Great Dane had to be put to sleep in my arms three months ago.
I've been having severe pain with degenerative bone disease and now my failure of a daughter has had my grandkids taken away by CPS because of her and her low-life husband and I can't afford or physically take them.
I'm just about ready to give up. My first husband commuted suicide and sometimes that looks really tempting. They consider him a saint and practically worship him. My daughter has told me numerous times she wishes I had dies instead. I have no hope for the future and feel like nobody would miss me except my husband (and he deserves better).
Any advice? I'm a 39year old woman

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