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BP Husband, I need help

My husband has a bipolar issue that I've been trying to deal with for the four years of our marriage
At first there were small tantrums that were manageable, but at this point its become intolerable.
In the past He's made it known that I will never leave him because he'll kill me before I ever have a chance at times and then there are times like last night where he kept telling he would never have married me had he known how useless I am. That conversation ended with him saying " Why are you even still here"
Now in his defense His mother is in the hospital dying of heart failure while we are in another state pretty much penniless and unable to travel to see her. His Bipolar is worse during times of stress and this is stressful.
I know I need to leave this situation but I only have $300. to my name and my husband has borrowed it all. He wont get paid for a few days yet. Assuming he does pay me back at all.
I don't have a real job as I've found it impossible to find employment since moving here and changing my last name due to marriage. There is a lot I'm not mentioning that has gone on throughout this marriage and i know I need to get out because I'm scared of whats going to happen next.
One time he grabbed me by the neck and slammed me into a store window, he did it in front of a crowd, including police officer who did break it up but did nothing except to tell me to just duck out inside a casino for a few hours.
Knowing he can get away with abuse scares the heck out of me. I need an escape plane for me and my dog.

I feel guilt that I'm thinking of leaving when he'll interpret it as my leaving just when he needs me most but I just cant do this eggshell walk anymore.

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