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Young Married Couple and Sex

My husband and I are both 23. We have been married for 2 years. He was my first and so sex is something that I discovered with him.
While we are not in a sexless marriage, I have found myself confused an with no where to turn for answers. I'd really appreciate knowing if I am experiencing something normal and if anyone has any advice.

I have found that while I don't mind having sex with my husband and I sometimes become aroused, I usually prefer to satisfy myself. It is almost as if I generally regard sex as a basic need that should be satisfied as quickly and efficiently as possible. Frankly, satisfying myself is faster and easier. While I do get off with my husband, I just usually prefer to take care of myself. I have incorporated this into our couples lovemaking but I think it makes him feel like he can't satisfy me.

My major problem is that I find my libido to be fairly low. I don't want this to cause a problem in my marriage, but I am also at a loss to determine what 'turns me on' I do become aroused but even to me what arouses me is confusing! I find myself sometimes aroused by one thing and at other times something else. How is my husband supposed to be able to know which I want? I'm sure many will say through communication, but the problem is that I don't know either. When he tries something I don't like, I tell him. If he does something I do like, I also respond. But I am honestly confused as to how my preferences can just switch up so easily? Is this normal? And is there anything I can do to make myself feel more in the mood more often?




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