wifes best friend, morally garbage

Not sure if I should post this here, but I thought the people that have dealt with infidelity would give me the best insight. My wife has a best girl friend and she has left her husband this year and taken the 2 girls they have with her and got an apartment. He was essentially blind sided by this, as we all were at the time. A few months have passed and she tells my wife (they have been best friends for 10 years) that she is going to meet up with an old flame from College. I tell my wife the timing is suspect and she should ask a few questions about this man and see what truth starts to come out. At first she said to my wife that the OM had left to join the military and as she dated and moved in with her husband the OM contacted her and professed his love for her. She referred to him as "the one that got away". that was a week ago. Yesterday, she tells my wife that he has been in the military and that he and she have been in contact a few times a year and are very close but have never seen one another in all this time. She also says they have expressed the reason for not seeing one another is they would not be able to trust their behavior if they got together. I said to my wife, is she dieting now, hitting the gym, buying some new clothes for this encounter she has clearly been fantasizing over for more than 10 years? Wife says no, she is not doing any of that. I told her the reason is, this is not the first time they have met up during her marriage and he knows what she looks like now versus in college. She is 15-20 lbs heavier and had 2 children so she looks more like a mom figure than an attractive college girl she once was. I told my wife how badly I feel for the H as she has ruined his self esteem, telling him he does not do this or that, and has no identity, no attraction and on and on. Now that I hear about the OM, it all makes sense. She has been comparing her H to him all these years. The H has never had a chance to live up to the fantasy. She also told my wife she realized back before she married her H that the marriage was something she should not do but did anyway. They have been married for 11 years. I now feel my wife is best friends with a person with very suspect morals and the ability to lie to everyone to get her way. She has ruined the life of a good man and he still has no idea. Should I say something to him? To her? ask my wife to stop their friendship and look for a better person to be close to? I have had issues with this friend before, but never anything like this.

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