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Is partner's counselor "enabling?"

For the last 3 to 4 months, I have been going to couples counseling with my partner and her therapist of 15 years. Last session, we were talking about my partner's explosive anger and my wish that she express her anger more appropriately in a way that isn't frightening to me and one of our dogs i.e. banging things in the garage, screaming at me to my face or being in her office with the door closed, cussing me out and saying hurtful things about me, slamming doors, blasting music at a deafening volume, just to name a few. I get anxious and can't sleep, dog gets anxiety and potties in the house when she's upset. She expressed that she felt like she's not allowed to be angry. I tried to explain again that I didn't mean it that way, just that I have trouble ignoring it. Long story short, her therapist brought up all that she has been through in her life (abuse/mistreatment by others, not me) and she said that I need to honor her anger. One of the sug gestions she posed to us is that my dog and I leave the house and go somewhere till she cools down. This feels invalidating to my feelings and enabling to her behavior. Can anyone help me understand this differently? :confused:




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