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It does get better!

Well it's been at least 6 months since I last even came to this site and a lot has happened in that time.

First off, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Been an interesting ride, a lot of ups and downs; she has cystic fibrosis along with some other health issues, and that provides a very interesting dynamic to our relationship. We've been taking things very slowly as we both came out of long and miserable marriages when we started seeing each other and didn't feel the need to rush things. I feel as though I have a solid grasp of who she is now; I know her good side as well as her bad side, and if we decide to live together (which at this point I think it's only a matter of time) we both know what we'd be getting into. I've seen her at her worst along with her best, and vice versa. And the great thing is, we love each other that much more. It hasn't pushed either of us away. If anything, it's brought us closer.

She's stunningly beautiful. By far the most beautiful woman I've ever been with. And she has a very strong appetite for extra curricular activities, which I absolutely love. She is a fantastic cook, shows me love and affection, and tells me how lucky she is. I feel the exact same way about her. I know what I've been missing out on all those years with my ex wife...it never felt like this. She feels the same way about her ex.

So I think I may have found the one. For those who are separated, contemplating divorce, or actually going through it, just know that it DOES get better. And it can be even better than it was with your spouse.

I had the classic walk away wife. She was attracted to a handsome older man at her job, and in January of '12 she left me and took the kids and started an affair with him. She tried to keep it a secret, but her little brother was a good friend of mine and told me about it 3 months after we split. I was devastated. Totally broken hearted. Divorce was filed and we argued over our daughter something fierce. I was the classic Nice Guy throughout our entire marriage, but her affair woke me up. I fought tooth and nail for time with my kid. Lawyered up, stood toe to toe with her, and got a fair deal. Papers were filed in April, and it was finalized in December...not long after her affair blew up. The OM was in an open marriage and his wife came calling, so he called it off. She was sniffing around and dropping hints for a while afterward, but she knew I was dating my GF and I gave her no quarter.

A few months back she started seeing a guy who's 7 years younger than her and 10 younger than me (I'm 33). They already live together, she bought a gas guzzling Tahoe to ferry the 4 kids they now have between the two of them, and generally leaves me alone...for which I am eternally grateful. Although for the past year or so my GF and I have gotten random messages on Facebook from a person who claims I'm a player and such. I'm positive it's my ex...nobody else has any motive to do such a thing. The most recent one happened after they moved in together. It blew me away...she's living with another guy and yet still cares what I do. Very strange.

We share our daughter just fine though, and rarely argue. We speak only when necessary, which again suits me just fine.

My house is redone on the inside and is gorgeous. My daughter and I have never been closer. My GF loves me, is gorgeous, and knows how to make me feel special. I have friends and hobbies. My money is my own; I do pay child support, but after that nobody tells me what to do with my money. I have freedom, self respect, and a great life.

What's the point of all this? Life may be SO hard right now, and you may think this is the end of the world as you know it. And let's face it, it probably is. BUT...the new world that comes after can be so much better. Go to counseling. Surround yourself with family and friends who care about you. Go out. Do things that bring you joy. Life does go on. And there will come a day where you will look back on this time in your life and say, "I beat that! I overcame and came out the other side better for it!"

Life is beautiful.
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