Gong to a party where the OW will be...

A mutual friend was having a small party, about 15-20 or so people. The woman my husband broke up and walked away from his family for will will be there. Would you go? I rsvped that we weren't going and one of the party hosts asked me why. I told him because she was going to be there and it was an uncomfortable situation that I would rather not put myself in. This apparently caused an uproar and caused his wife to cancel the entire party and reschedule to have a dinner at a restaurant instead. The OW was also invited to this, but now my husband and I were not. My brother in law and his wife will be there and my cousin in law and his gf were invited to go, but are not going because the gf feels uncomfortable because her bf (cousin in law) slept with practically every girl that will be there. So the gf and I planned for pizza and drinks this evening instead (were good friends). Now I am getting blamed by my brother and sister in law for the party being cancelled. My sister in law said we should have gone and "acted like adults". Now since the cousin in law and his gf are coming over tonight, I am also getting blamed for being the reason they are not going to the dinner. All I did was tell the host why I wasnt going and it caused all of this. Was I wrong? My sister in law said I should have made an another "excuse" to not go. I told her it wasnt an excuse and why would I lie about the reason I wasnt going? What a mess declining a simple party invite has caused.

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