| SO I took y'alls advice and the advice of my friends.... I gave this to my husband last night it was in a better paragraph form but for here I took out spaces:::::: (read till the end)) When you get a change, worth the read... also there are some excellent sites out there to how romance (free romance) plays into emotional intimacy :) The first article is about emotional intimacy versus sex. http://www.forgingbonds.org/files_im...%201%20PDF.pdf Do some research on the importance of intimacy (not sexual intimacy for women) it's all over the internet.... romance is an integral part of this.... You used to do this a lot when we were first dating, but I think you got in the habit of doing it to get sex... now that I am offering more freely, the longer effort on your part to "warm me up" and I don't necessarily mean sexually... has wanned... almost dissapated... I used to love it when you would play with my hair, I can't even tell the last time you did that... hugs were longer, kisses longer and more passionate and not just when I was leaving. (Groping is not being romantic). Romantic would be planning a night just the two of us, even doing something free, and planning it yourself. Romantic would be the suggestion I gave you of sending me a song (and whistle, is sexually related it doesn't count). I am just being real about my needs. I have tried to skirt the issue, drop hints, and after seeking some advice have been told i just need to be blunt at this point. I also don't want to tell you what to do, I want you to put forth effort, just like I have to satisfy your sexual needs... After reading that article i see why we went down the no sex path to begin with, because you are so consumed with sexual acts, you miss the simple loving acts. And I don't mean things that are expected in a marriage, like helping with the house, the kids, etc.... I need to still feel like a woman. Turn your head in a subtle manner, with a sly look, like i used to. Not a sexual comment.... I think once you do some research you will understand what I am talking about. And after reading several articles myself, I am one who desires uninterupted talk time, like you like chill time, I like talk time. In addition I am not one who needs many words of affection but showing, I love your little notes when you do them. I don't expect nor want a response to this email. I am going to bed. I just want you to soak it in, read some articles, and think for yourself as I had to to correct our lack of sexual intimacy.... I need emotional intimacy from you and simple question and answer games, while fun and worked at the time, isn't enough. Just like you need sex on an ongoing basis, I need romantic gestures and closeness.... So today he tells me all day how tonight is going to be so romantic.... I did have a bit of drama with family calling, but got that all squared away and asked him what he had planned. He says come here, leads me to the bedroom where he has the cards out to play strip poker? really? WTF am I missing????? | |||
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