Hurting and confused..

I've never done this before so I'm not sure how to go about sharing so I'll just jump in. I am 42 married for 9 years and have two kids aged 7 & 8. Thought everything was going great until I rec'd an email telling me my husband was having an affair. Confronted husband, who denied anything was going on as did the woman. Told him to pull his head in and left it at that. NOW two weeks later I answer his/our phone and find a text message that he sent to her and she sent back that confirmed his affections where being shared elsewhere. I went over and confronted the woman who thought the whole thing was so funny so I slapped her in the face twice ( yes I know I shouldn't have but I did) Husband has admitted to well not really after I found the evidence he has confessed his sins and says he is sorry that he stuffed up blah blah blah. I really cannot stand the sight of him, how could he put his family on the line for a woman who is known as the town *****. (oh I live in a town of about 240 people). Everytime I see his stupid crying face I just want to slap it.. How can I go on when he picked her over me?? Am I really that horrible a wife and person that he had to pick her... My kids think I'm being mean to their dad even though I keep the shouting and yelling bad mouthing etc away from them... WTF am I gonna do??? When the man I loved did this to me...

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