He will NOT believe me!!!

Heres my story, will try not to write a book!! My husband and i have been together for 20 years (in May) married for 17. Three children 18 boy, 12 boy and 2 girl. We have had a long bumpy road. I am 5 years older than him, he was 16 and I was 21 when we got together. I have always gave him the benefit of the doubt. He was always able to hang with his friends and basically do whatever he wanted. I never questioned him. I did have an EA in 2002, brief , ended it and we stayed together. It seemed he forgave me. Fighting off and on about dumb stuff as couples do. About a year and a half ago he had an EA, just to see if he could. I was devastated but decided to win him back and succeeded. I have been bartending for 6 years (his idea), since his job was construction and the economy took a dive! He has never been the jealous type and neither have i unless he made me jealous, which he would do on purpose!!! One night after a busy night @ work i drank a lil too much. Partying with customers and a friend (guy), which my husband and I are both friends with, partied with. I kinda blacked out, remember little bits and pieces. He called me and I went off on him. Remember a lil bit. Now he seems to think I slept with this guy! (my boss it is her brother, she loves drama and likes to start stuff when she is mad). I left the bar a mess and came in apologized, cleaned and did what i needed to do to keep my job! (i make amazing money, small pizza bar, we wouldnt make it if i didnt work). She decided to rant and rave about us "doin it" on the bar to my customers (very good ones). (not knowing until later that night that is what she said). Her brother worked in the kitchen, they fired him cuz he lied about being there so late. Yes i do admit it looks suspiscious but I DID NOT SLEEP WITH THIS GUY. So now for the last 4 weeks we have been fighting and fighting about it. I tell him well believe what you want, and then if I try to defend myself he says it makes me guilty!! I am sick over this but have held my head high and go to work and not drink anymore and come home. He comes to work with me occasionally!!! How do i get him to believe me?? He has talked to this guy and of course he says we didn't do anything! When H is drinking he will tell me otherwise!! He says he wants a divorce and its my fault! Btw now since I do snoop thru his phone because of earlier situations he has put a password on it and deletes facebook messages. He can look at my phone anytime anyday!! HURT BEYOND!!

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