Good evening all
There are a lot of threads on affirmative consent, pushing, last minute resistance etc etc. I think sometimes those get confusing / argumentative because people are discussing in general terms not specifics. Often people are arguing over what some other hypothetical person *might* do, while not one is actually claiming that that would themselves behave like that.
I wanted to try something different here. The idea here is to post realistic scenarios that (if you were dating) you might actually do to seduce someone and see if others believe this is acceptable behavior. So (for this particular discussion) I'm asking that people stick to thinks that either they personally would do (if attempting to seduce someone) or have done, or things that they personally have experienced.
Scenario (unrealistic only because I am not dating right now). Have a couple of normal dates - dinner, going to a movie or something. Then suggest a week in Venice. Assume she accepts (for some reason people trust me - so acceptance isn't as unlikely as it might seen). Walk around Venice. Get gelato - offer to share. Gondola ride - which results in sitting right next to each other. Offer a hand up out of the gondola (a physical touch). Offer my coat if its cold (another touch).
We stay in my favorite hotel in Venice - a 15th century palace converted to a hotel, right on the Grand canal .Dinner on the hotel patio - has a view of the Rialto Bridge - watch the sunset. She has a glass or two of wine - I never drink.
The hotel room is a suite - there are two beds, the master bed is in an alcove between two 14th century pillars. The balcony has a view over the canal so we sand there looking and talking for a while. I put an arm around her. If she gives the impression of being happy with that, I kiss her. If she responds positively I kiss her more. Start to undress her. Lead her to the bed. If she objects in any way I stop, offer to sleep on the other bed. But if there is on objection, I continue.
Thoughts? Is this scenario acceptable?
There are a lot of threads on affirmative consent, pushing, last minute resistance etc etc. I think sometimes those get confusing / argumentative because people are discussing in general terms not specifics. Often people are arguing over what some other hypothetical person *might* do, while not one is actually claiming that that would themselves behave like that.
I wanted to try something different here. The idea here is to post realistic scenarios that (if you were dating) you might actually do to seduce someone and see if others believe this is acceptable behavior. So (for this particular discussion) I'm asking that people stick to thinks that either they personally would do (if attempting to seduce someone) or have done, or things that they personally have experienced.
Scenario (unrealistic only because I am not dating right now). Have a couple of normal dates - dinner, going to a movie or something. Then suggest a week in Venice. Assume she accepts (for some reason people trust me - so acceptance isn't as unlikely as it might seen). Walk around Venice. Get gelato - offer to share. Gondola ride - which results in sitting right next to each other. Offer a hand up out of the gondola (a physical touch). Offer my coat if its cold (another touch).
We stay in my favorite hotel in Venice - a 15th century palace converted to a hotel, right on the Grand canal .Dinner on the hotel patio - has a view of the Rialto Bridge - watch the sunset. She has a glass or two of wine - I never drink.
The hotel room is a suite - there are two beds, the master bed is in an alcove between two 14th century pillars. The balcony has a view over the canal so we sand there looking and talking for a while. I put an arm around her. If she gives the impression of being happy with that, I kiss her. If she responds positively I kiss her more. Start to undress her. Lead her to the bed. If she objects in any way I stop, offer to sleep on the other bed. But if there is on objection, I continue.
Thoughts? Is this scenario acceptable?
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