Hi all,
I know I wasn't planning on posting new threads but something happened last nite and thought I should post in this forum instead. We start our "vacation" tonite.....(meaning I won't be in the office for the next two weeks...a good thing)...most of our vaca will be at our pool but we are leaving on Sunday for a couple of days to Vermont...(all of which is good).
Last nite my H suggested that next year, we do "Disney".....Okay I know that we need to do that at some point......but truthfully I'd rather go back to an all inclusive resortwhere we can stick our son in daycare all day while we do the beach))
So I said maybe in a few years, but I really want to go back to the beach. He said it was too much of a hassle with the ride from the airport (2 hours)....I then suggested another resort at Turks/Caicos (where there is no long bus ride from airport).
He insisted on Disney and said if we don't go next year (our son's last year of preschool) we could only go during school vacations going forward (which he says will be overcrowded)
I tried to figure out what was really really bothering me.....and I realized it was the unwillingness on his part to schedule time on a vacation ALONE with me......
It doesn't help that my co-worker and her husband nearly EVERY WEEKEND get to be by themselves while her MIL takes their baby all weekend to give them a "break" (can you believe that???)
We haven't, in our history together, had ONE NIGHT without our son.....(his sisters have offered to me but they know their brother (my H) would never accept))...
H's sister gets weekends away all the time!!! Their sisters pitch in, watch their kids, her neice (who is 27) watches her 8/6 year olds all the time!!! NO ONE WATCHES OUR SON!
So....I decided to approach him last nite.
I said, "Thinking that maybe it would be a good idea for US to do a weekend ALONE?"
He said I was crazy....and that there was NO ONE to watch our son. I said there was and that they've all offered...he said they haven't spoken to him...I said I'd contact them!!! He said no...that he "suggested" we offer to watch his sister's young kids (8 and 6) and I didn't want anything to do with that (this was a while back) and from now on he had no interest in scheduling ANY time or ANY vacation without our son.
(It is worth noting that even tho his sister hasn't left kids with us...I can't just take off and do my own thing...I have to be out there at the pool with them and my son, I can't leave the house or I'd deal with all hell...this happens every other weekend each summer... that starts from 2 pm and ends at 10 pm)...
I was floored.
I said, "NOT EVEN A WEEKEND or A NITE ALONE?????"
He said "No!"
He said, "I WANT to vacation with my SON AND YOU DON'T!!!"
I said I was looking out for our best interests as a COUPLE and that all my friends go away who have kids and my PARENTS left me with my grandmother and I turned out fine
he said his parents NEVER left him EVER
I said we obviously have 2 different points of view and 2 different visions of what we want in a marriage.
I haven't said anything else but things are very tense.
Honestly, I wouldn't have suggested anything if he didn't bring up DISNEY as a VACATION.
Any thoughts? Just really sad....
I know I wasn't planning on posting new threads but something happened last nite and thought I should post in this forum instead. We start our "vacation" tonite.....(meaning I won't be in the office for the next two weeks...a good thing)...most of our vaca will be at our pool but we are leaving on Sunday for a couple of days to Vermont...(all of which is good).
Last nite my H suggested that next year, we do "Disney".....Okay I know that we need to do that at some point......but truthfully I'd rather go back to an all inclusive resortwhere we can stick our son in daycare all day while we do the beach))
So I said maybe in a few years, but I really want to go back to the beach. He said it was too much of a hassle with the ride from the airport (2 hours)....I then suggested another resort at Turks/Caicos (where there is no long bus ride from airport).
He insisted on Disney and said if we don't go next year (our son's last year of preschool) we could only go during school vacations going forward (which he says will be overcrowded)
I tried to figure out what was really really bothering me.....and I realized it was the unwillingness on his part to schedule time on a vacation ALONE with me......
It doesn't help that my co-worker and her husband nearly EVERY WEEKEND get to be by themselves while her MIL takes their baby all weekend to give them a "break" (can you believe that???)
We haven't, in our history together, had ONE NIGHT without our son.....(his sisters have offered to me but they know their brother (my H) would never accept))...
H's sister gets weekends away all the time!!! Their sisters pitch in, watch their kids, her neice (who is 27) watches her 8/6 year olds all the time!!! NO ONE WATCHES OUR SON!
So....I decided to approach him last nite.
I said, "Thinking that maybe it would be a good idea for US to do a weekend ALONE?"
He said I was crazy....and that there was NO ONE to watch our son. I said there was and that they've all offered...he said they haven't spoken to him...I said I'd contact them!!! He said no...that he "suggested" we offer to watch his sister's young kids (8 and 6) and I didn't want anything to do with that (this was a while back) and from now on he had no interest in scheduling ANY time or ANY vacation without our son.
(It is worth noting that even tho his sister hasn't left kids with us...I can't just take off and do my own thing...I have to be out there at the pool with them and my son, I can't leave the house or I'd deal with all hell...this happens every other weekend each summer... that starts from 2 pm and ends at 10 pm)...
I was floored.
I said, "NOT EVEN A WEEKEND or A NITE ALONE?????"
He said "No!"
He said, "I WANT to vacation with my SON AND YOU DON'T!!!"
I said I was looking out for our best interests as a COUPLE and that all my friends go away who have kids and my PARENTS left me with my grandmother and I turned out fine
he said his parents NEVER left him EVER
I said we obviously have 2 different points of view and 2 different visions of what we want in a marriage.
I haven't said anything else but things are very tense.
Honestly, I wouldn't have suggested anything if he didn't bring up DISNEY as a VACATION.
Any thoughts? Just really sad....
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