I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. In the beginning, we were great - he was very affectionate and I loved it. He was also always very happy and positive, which was great because I was (before him) quite pessimistic, so he balanced it out. Over the last few months, he's been going through some personal issues, but also, things with us haven't been going so well. As I mentioned, he was very sweet and affectionate in the beginning, I now feel like the affection has died down. By that, I mean the cute cuddles, the smiling, the random 'I love you's, and the cute peck kisses.
For the last few months, I've been distancing myself with sexual interactions with him (kissing excluded) because when he's not affectionate, I don't really feel it. I've noticed a correlation - he seems to be less affectionate, less of a good boyfriend and we do not so well as a couple (always arguing) when we're not engaging sexually. Now, my reason for not engaging sexually was because of all that negative stuff. I'm not sure if the sexual stuff is what makes him happy.
Around when things started going south, we made up and I went to his house and we engaged sexually, and I realised after that we were totally okay. Now, I wish that wasn't the case because that shouldn't be what makes us a good couple.
BUT as I mentioned before he has some personal issues (not to do with me), and I'm not sure if this is why he is slightly not 100% there in the relationship, and if that's the case, I'd gladly wait it out til that situation gets better. But if its not, then it could be the sexual thing, and that's not what I'm looking for. My sexuality is driven on affection, and feeling loved and wanted. Otherwise, its hard for me to be willing to engage sexually, because I'll just not be in the mood, but this really pisses him off, I can tell, and it makes me feel bad. By this, I mean if he tries feeling me, I'll tell him to stop and he'll get all moody.
By the way, I love him. There's no denying this. Is it my fault? Because we've done everything sexually already, am I obligated to keep up that excitement that we had in the beginning? Because often I'm not feeling it, but I think that's because I don't feel like he's being affectionate in a non-sexual way.
Please help
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