We met and straight away got on- never awkward which was weird for me being such a shy person. We hung out a lot and she really brought me out of my shell. We were loud and funny and weird and got into a lot of trouble and had fun like kids do. I got sick. I couldn't really talk to her about it but she could tell. It was like I was poison, a disease- as soon as she knew what I was doing she did it do. It was like some weird little cult between us. We didn't talk about it much. But the crimson lines on suddenly prominent bones gave it away. We got drunk and hooked up with each other at parties a lot. We were so close but not in the right way. We were like the same person we did everything together I forgot my other friends and I was always there for her when she needed me. But whenever I needed her she wasn't there. I think I screwed her up, with being the way I was. Fast forward and things are getting different. She has other friends too but I had isolated myself with only ever being with her. I was mad because suddenly she wasn't putting me first anymore, she'd forgotten me. We aren't friends anymore. I loved her and I love her and I miss her but I know our friendship was toxic. But she was such a huge part of me. I'm mad at her for leaving me behind but I know it was only because I couldn't keep up. I still love her.
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