| Hello everyone, I was hoping I could get some advice about my long-term relationship. My girlfriend and I have been going out for seven years, and we're only university-age now. In that time, growing up together, we've had our ups and downs, but I love her dearly. However, lately there's something upsetting me. Our sex life is getting quite repetitive, and from my perspective it's because of my girlfriend's quite reserved approach to sex. She almost never initiates it, for starters. Whilst we're doing it, it's up to me to change position, but it's missionary about 75% of the time. She dislikes receiving oral sex (this upsets me quite a bit), using sex toys, and has only worn sexy lingerie once or twice (when I bought it and asked her to wear it). We've never tried anal, and I don't receive oral sex very often any more. Lastly, she never seems to be adventurous, never suggesting we try anything new. I have given it a lot of thought, and a few possibilities as to why she acts like this stick in my mind. 1. I think she has some issues about her image, and being open about her sexuality. I think she's a cutie, but she puts herself down a lot. She can't really tell me how she feels about me to my face either, it has to be written down and sent in a text or email. When I ask her if there's anything she'd like to try in the bedroom, or if there's anything I can do to improve the experience for her, she has nothing to say. 2. I'm not good in bed, and her fire has gone out. Before we started having regular sex, she was far more enthusiastic speaking about and doing other sex acts. Now we're having sex, I don't seem to make her orgasm that often, and even when I do I don't get the feeling they're big ones. She has made noise during sex on only a few occasions (aside from the natural panting), whereas I find myself doing it damn near every time :lol3: . Once, she very subtly slid the comment "sometimes I like being submissive" into a conversation, which makes me feel as though she has always wanted me to just take charge. But all the time, really? 3. She is just closed off from/unaware of the wider world of sex. Not long ago, whilst discussing sex with a few friends, she turned to a female friend of hers and quietly said (regarding us) "we've pretty much done everything". I just nodded in agreement to save face, but inside I was stunned by that revelation. I've tried discussing our sex life openly and calmly with her but it hasn't worked. Neither has upping my already ravenous desire for her, and showing her (through sex) just how passionate I am about her. Or making her feel good about herself, by complimenting her and taking her clothes shopping, letting her pick out pretty things. At this stage I just feel a little unwanted and confused. I have all this lust for her but when the sex doesn't develop, I feel caged. Sorry for the wall of text here, but I had to get it off my chest. I'd really appreciate some advice guys :happy: | |||
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