| I guess the best way to start is from the very beginning. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 18. He was my first everything. I would always hear things about him cheating, but I would always brush it off because I thought we were so in love and everybody else was jealous. By the time I was 19 we bought our first house. By 21 I was married. At 22 I had my son. 6mos after I had my son I just knew something was up. I would ask him about it and he would make me feel like a crazy delusional person. At one point I asked to see his phone records and he told me that if I did I wouldn't see anything and he would leave me. Well one night I was able to get into his phone, the first message I saw was a naked text pic from some girl. My stomach sunk. I didn't even look any further. I went upstairs and confronted him and then left to my moms. But I had nothing, no job or anything. I was financially dependent on him. Plus I loved him and we just had a baby together. So I went back. From that point on though I decided I needed to get myself together, so I decided to get back into college. I still had my suspicions on what he was doing. He had come home with lipstick on his collar, smelling like females, etc. Things were just different now. I looked at him differently. I thought we were untouchable. Once I graduated college I was able to find an amazing job with the DOD. I love it there and I love the people. And I met somebody there that I really took interest too. And when that happened I should have just left home. But instead I stayed, we were financially stable and I was in a comfort zone. I mean he technically was all I knew. But I continued this relationship with the other person too. The other person made me happy. But I knew that I became just the person I hated. So I told my husband what was going on. He punched me in the head and then threw me on the bed when I tried to get out of the room. I didn't know what to do. I was scared. So I stayed with him and apologized over and over again. He belittled me constantly; we went to a marriage counselor, who was great. However when it came to my husband needing to change things he became hostile and over it. He just wanted to be the victim. At that point the counselor said it was useless for us to come because he wasn't even trying. But I stayed and kept trying to make it work. He treated me like trash and I felt like I deserved it even though he had done so many things to me (including a STD).This treatment from him went on for over a yr and I decided to finally leave. I took my son and moved in with my mom. A week later I found out I was pregnant. What are the chances of that? So I went back home so we could try and work on things. My whole pregnancy was awful. I painted the whole house by myself. I took my son to and from daycare while putting in 40 hr workloads. He would stay at work late, come home whenever he pleased (drunk). I was the practicing baseball with our son, not him. I did everything. One night when he came home drunk I confronted him and he started choking me. At that point I was 9mos pregnant. During this whole time I was still being called a ***** and every other name in the book. I just didn't get it, if he wanted to make things work then he needed to accept my apology and move on. It had been forever at this point. After I had our daughter he really had nothing to do with her. I had my daughter in May and throughout the entire summer he did whatever he wanted while I had both kids. But I felt like it was my punishment. He would still constantly accuse me of doing things. I hated it. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without him making a comment. To this day if I want to curl my hair for work , I hurry up and do it while he is in the shower and hide the iron before he gets out. That December I decided to purchases us tickets to Jamaica for his 30 birthday. I knew it could have been a waste of money, but I was willing to do anything to appease him even though he treated me like ****. His birthday wasn't until Feb so that's when I gave him the tickets. Well that same week a message from massage envy starts playing on the phone. Thanking my husband and Victoria for coming in for their massage. Well my name isn't Victoria. So he tells me he had been having an affair for 6 mos. But what's funny is the girl from 5 yrs ago that was in the naked pics on his phone, her name was Victoria…is that just a coincidence? Probably not. He was so arrogant about it too. He still came home late that night to. But I stayed and tried to make it work. After 3 weeks I packed us up and moved in with my mom. The whole time he was calling and begging for me to come home. But it really didn't even hurt that he was going out on our marriage, it was more so the physical and emotional abuse I had to endure while he was doing his thing anyway. Well my mom lives in a 55+ community so after 3 mos I needed to leave because of my kids. I didn't save any money bc I kept my check going into our joint account and was still contributing to the house bills. I was scared to open my own account because I was scared he wouldn't pay our mortgage. The house is in both of our names and the main mortgage is too. But we took a second mortgage out a while back to do some renovations. And unfortunately the second mortgage is in my name only. I knew he wouldn't pay that bill. People would tell me not to worry about it and if he doesn't pay it let it go to foreclosure. But unfortunately its not that easy. I work for DOD, I have a security clearance and something like that (forclosure/ finance issues)could hurt my clearance. I can't lose my job. So I started weighing my options and thinking how great it would be to make my family work. So what did this dummy do? Go back home. It took two weeks before jabs and attacking started on me. Really? Like this can't be real, he was the one that just had an affair. And about 3 more weeks later I found the girls sweat pants in his car. He swore they were from forever ago and he forgot to get rid of them. Right! And it's just crazy the way he treats me. So today he was being his normally nasty self and calling me all sorts of names. We were outside with both kids. And he made another comment to me, so I looked and smiled at him. He ran over at me while I'm holding my child and he hits me in my head. I nearly fell over. It was broad day light; I couldn't believe he would do it then and in public. About 5 minutes later 3 cop cars show up. Clearly neighbors were watching and called. When they got there my husband start being all chumming and jokey with them and told them we just got into an argument and I told them the same. He gave me information on a protective order and I took my kids and left. So here I am now back at my mom's where I know I can't stay. I don't know what to do about the family house (mortgage situation). I'll take any advice. Thank you if you really took the time to read this. | |||
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