| My husband and I have been married 3 years and together almost 6. Things haven't always been great and we don't have sex more than once every 3 or so months. Its kind of like we are roommates that kind of hate each other sometimes. We just had our son last year and I have a step daughter. About 3 or 4 weeks ago someone in his family very close to all of us, made some sexual advances toward me. I was VERY hesitant to tell my husband as I didn't know if he would right off the bat think I was lying because the person is like superman of that family or get mad at me or the other person. I told him that day and he agreed that leaving the area and moving away was the beat thing so as to remove me from temptation of the person acting out again. Ever since then we have been mostly separated only because I have been living away with my son and he is staying elsewhere. We have found a house but it is mostly unlivable yet and we are busting our butts trying to get it fixed so that we can move in and hopefully become a family again. Well now for the past week my husband has been acting out so wildly and violently. I know that he hates this situation (as do I obviously) and I also know that he does not handle change well at all! Also his mother is very negative and he tends to go back and forth. This week has been so awful. He isn't sleeping much, he works his regular job then works on the house until late without taking breaks. He is completely manic and violent acting (ie. Cussing, throwing things, lashing out verbally to me etc.) Well tonight just set everything off. After having a pretty nice evening together spending time with our son and looking forward to this weekend and having our family together while moving in, I get a text from him of what I thought was him joking with me like he used to when we were dating. It was about sex and he was kinda being silly. I was being silly back enjoying having my silly side of my husband back. All of a sudden he sends me a text saying that I'm being damn rude and that he is confused. I'm like huh? What do you mean? He was like never mind...the mood is shot...I begin to feel confused myself and trying to figure out what he was/is talking about. Long story short he really wanted to have sex tonight and he wasn't joking around. When I called him he was SO MAD and was saying things like "Oh yeah I was joking. Yeah right! I never get to do anything fun and there is no benefit to being married to you other than being able to see the kids." :-( I am completely caught off guard and super confused about hi s tone and how we would actually have sex considering I have a toddler on my hip and the house we have has nothing at all in it. ? I am trying to grasp this problem and he is telling me that he is just going to go get trashed so he can do something fun for a change and that none of this "even matters". His phone died and now I can't get ahold of him (to say...what? I don't know...) Now I am just sitting here, feeling bad. I don't know how I was supposed to know that he really wanted to pull up a piece of dirty floor in our baron house with someone watching our son at 10:30 pm. When he started out joking like he used to, I didn't pick up on his change of tone that he was intending for me to pick up on...its words on a phone? There is a lot on him right now but heck there is a ton on me too and I have a screaming toddler keeping me running and awake 24/7! I didn't ask for any of this to happen. I didn't want that person to make his moves on me so that I could lose everything. What makes it worse is my husband said in plain words that he blames me in part for the incident due to my physique. I did nothing wrong. I don't know what to do. Is he losing his mind? Can I DO anything? He just makes me feel like running away because of how guilty he makes me feel about every situation. Every single thing that happens is always some how my fault...its been like that our whole marriage but it's getting worse. Please help me understand. Please let me know if I can help this. I am just......lost :'( Thank you. | |||
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