| This is killing me - and making me feel stupid. About 2 weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. Well, truthfully, she broke up with me. A few days later she called me and said that she wanted to see me, but not in public. We ended up having sex a few times that week. I knew that it was a bad idea but, quite frankly, the sex was some of the best that we have ever had in our 2 1/2 year relationship (she said so as well). She told me that she has not changed her mind about getting back together, but she has not written off the possibility. She is okay with "hanging out" but does not want us to appear in public as a "couple." She wants me to see a therapist and talk about my "problems." Basically, her reason for breaking up with me was that I drink too much and when I am drunk, my temper flares and I have said (and done) things that have embarrassed her in front of her friends and family. I made an appointment with a therapist for this coming Monday. I get 8 sessions paid for by my employer. The gf said that if the therapist wanted to talk to her, she would be willing to come to sessions with me or go separately. So, the signs indicate that she is sincere about trying to repair the relationship. However....last night I got together with female friends from work. My entire department, except for me, is female. We went out for drinks and appetizers. I thought that the ex-gf was working last night, but apparently she was not. She tried to contact me but I did not have cell service inside of the pub. Anyway, I come home and turn on my phone to find that our server at the pub is friends with the ex-gf and apparently texted her that I was "out with other women." The ex-gf was extremely jealous and angry and told me that "you have really f***** up this time." "Good bye." "Have a nice life." Etc. I talked to her today and explained to her that last night was just co-workers going out for drinks. She said nothing. I asked her if she was sincere about repairing our relationship and getting back together. Her reply was only that she was proud of me for making the appointment with the therapist, and she was looking forward to hearing and seeing what conclusions I came to. As far as the relationship, she said that she could not tell me anything until she saw what happened after therapy. I said okay, fair enough, but I just want to know that you have your heart in this, because I do not want to try to fix a relationship with someone who is really not interested. Her response was basically that she had nothing else to say at the moment and don't bring it up again. It just kills me that she has put me in a situation where she has the freedom to do whatever she wants and I am sitting here "in limbo" like some little lap dog waiting to be let out. If she sleeps with someone else or meets a guy and starts dating him, she can always fall back on "we were not together" or "I never promised you anything." Meanwhile I am doing all of this work to repair a relationship with a person who only calls or texts when she feels like it, ignores me in public, and pretty much holds all of the cards. I am thinking about giving her an ultimatum. Basically, hey, I am a good guy who has some faults. But I am honest, loyal and hard working. And I have shown you that I am taking steps to work on my "problems." So you either want me in your life or you don't, but I am not going to sit here and wait for you to make a decision. What do you guys think? | |||
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