| This will be a long story, so bear with me, I need to do this to help me get through… I permanently separated from my wife in January this year, and hadn't even contemplated another relationship until I met this amazing girl online in May, who happened to be from my town. It seemed fated, and we immediately got on well and I knew straight away that this could be something special. The only problem was, that she was in a long term (5 year) relationship with a guy with whom she had a 3 year old daughter. She assured me that in her mind, the relationship was over, because he had been both physically abusive once, and mentally abusive constantly, during the course of their relationship. He would regularly rage and her and trash their house, and call her names such as fat, slag, whore, bad mum, etc. He even controlled who she could have on her Facebook friends list, and would accuse her of slagging around with other guys, even though he cheated on her whilst pregnant. She said that she couldn't even bear to touch him any more. She was very flirty with me, and actively gave me the come on, but it was a while before I was able to Facebook friend her, and only then because she told him that I was just a guy she played with online… not a threat right? Anyway, we continued to play together, night and day, talking away on voice chat and having a great laugh… we had such chemistry that it seemed only natural for us to meet. We first met at the beginning of June, going on a date to the cinema. Both clear that we weren't just going as friends, but as dates. I can remember vividly the first time I saw her in the flesh. I swear I fell in love with her right there. The date was perfect, we had a great laugh, kissed lots, went for a drink afterwards and talked comfortably. Things quickly escalated - we would spend more and more time chatting and playing together online. We were addicted to each other's company, and would even talk on the phone during times when we couldn't play and her partner was out. She would send me sexy pictures of herself and we would talk as if we wanted to be together. During the course of the next month or so, we had many, many more perfect dates, all behind his back, and she would lie to him about where she was. She told me that she had never been treated so well by a guy before. We had sex in my car, at her house (when he was out once - very risky!), at my house… and it was the most amazing sex ever. She would tell me how amazing I was, how much she loved me (and I know she did, I could see it in the way she looked at me). I felt the same as her… everything was great. It was becoming increasingly difficult to sneak around though, as understandably, he was getting more suspicious of her excuses as to where she was, especially the couple of nights where she didn't return home. She was very keen for him not to find out, which should have rang alarm bells, but he eventually left their house, having got tired of her lies, smashing up her PC in the process. Even then, she refused to admit to him that she'd been cheating, but with our 'relationship' becoming more serious, I was keen for him to know, and for them to split properly so we could be together. She was still reluctant to tell him she'd been cheating, but they did essentially split, with her citing reasons that she was sick of being abused by him, that they weren't good for each other, etc. but never that she didn't love him. During their separation, we were pretty much inseparable. We had more great nights out, slept at each other's houses together, and were like a proper couple. We took her daughter out to the park and to play centres. I know now that this was probably too much, too fast, but to me it seemed like the opportunity to be together properly, like we'd talked about so many times before. I treated this girl like a goddess, I would compliment her and mean it, take her out and never expect her to pay, took her shopping for outfits for our nights out, massaged her, anything. She commented many times that I was so good to her. I knew she was still messaging him though, mostly to slag each other off, but it showed me she still cared and it made me uneasy. When I asked her about it, she accused me of being untrusting, but I just knew that she wasn't completely over him, no matter how much she told me she was, and that she hated him, and after what he continued to call her. Anyway, he did eventually find out she was seeing someone, as we were spotted by some of his friends out on a night out. It took longer for him to find out who I was, but he eventually guessed and she confirmed it. She was a little angry about this at first, saying that I'd pushed her to tell him. She told me she needed time and space to think. He soon message me a few times through Facebook, wanting an explanation, and I explained it was nothing personal, but I loved her. He wanted to know how long it had been going on, as he said they'd slept together 3 weeks previously, which would have been during the time we were sleeping together. Obviously, she denied this being the case, saying it had been much longer than that. Later the same day, he messaged me saying she had been on the phone saying she still loved him and wanted him back, and wondered what she was playing at if she was still seeing me. I contacted her asking for an explanation, and she said she was confused. I told her that I loved her and wanted to be with her, and after seeking guidance from her mum, she got back to me and told me that she wanted to be with me too and not him. We were now well into August and were doing coupley things, spending most of the time together. I was conscious that this was a lot of time, but I missed her when we were apart, and she was always asking me what we were doing the next day, and that I should stay over. She didn't have a PC anymore, so we couldn't have our online time, and I know she missed it. She'd already met my parents by the this point, but we went to a family gathering together as a couple and I met a lot of her family. They told me they approved and they were glad to see her so happy again, that they'd noticed a positive change in her. We went out in our local town after the do, and I was at first concerned about this, with a previous outing there being a bit of a bad idea after she blanked me whenever she saw one of his friends out, but that was a while back when we were still sneaking around. She assured me this time she didn't care who saw, and that she would snog my face off in front of any of his friends. We didn't see any, and it was a great night ending in her coming back to my place to spend the night. The morning after she had an argument with him on the phone, where he called her horrible names again, and she hit back with the old 'he's better than you in bed' line.. trying to hurt each other again. We spent the next couple of days and nights together, basically chilling out until on Thursday I had to leave to go home to sort some things out. Everything seemed fine to me, as normal. Turns out that during this time, she was back on to him, pouring her heart out, begging him to take her back. I didn't know this at first, but when I contacted me later that day, asking if she wanted to come over to mine later, she told me through text message, that she couldn't, that she needed space and time to think, thanked me for showing her how a relationship should be, saying that friendship was all she could offer at this moment, and that she wasn't ready for another boyfriend.. I told her it would be impossible to go back to being friends with her after all we'd been through, as I felt too strongly about her, as I believed she did for me, but it appeared not. She also mentioned in this message about needing to be on her own for a bit to rebuild her life, and then later she could try being with someone, but she had him round to her house within an hour where they had a 'heart-to-heart' and came clean about everything. Seems they decided to give things another go with a clean slate. When I accused her of getting back with him, she denied it at first, but she couldn't really hide her true reasons for breaking with me. | |||
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