Not Healthy

Alright. I'll start that I met this girl about 5 years ago through mutual friends. She seemed nice, sweet, and all so innocent. Has a girl next door look to her. Didn't know much about her, ran into her a few times and she seemed like a nice enough girl. Then I found out that she was a bit of a partier. Binge drinking on the weekends and some illicit but harmless drug use. Hey, who am I to judge, it's not like I haven't before. So, she went up a peg in my page. We started to hang out a bit more after this knowledge, and it was fun times. The only downside was that she was at the time already interested in another man. And they started dating soon there after. Fast forward, and it was a rocky relationship, and they ended up splitting about a year or so ago. Since that time, we have pretty much seen each other every weekend. Our relationship has blossomed to the point that we consider ourselves best friends. We have been intimate, but we have also partied. To be honest, each weekend we hangout includes copious amounts of booze, drug use, hooking up with each other, strangers, and sometimes even mutual friends of ours. Yet, we just don't care and love every moment of it. But lately, I have been thinking after one of my many hangovers, what the hell am I doing? I'm almost 30. We both spend way to much money each weekend, hook up with strangers at the same party, most of the time unprotected, and have nothing to show for it other than a hangover. I recently suggested we slow down a bit, and hell, maybe even go steady. She doesn't want to any part of it. She claims that what we have is special, and we don't want to ruin a special thing. I don't know. It's getting old, but at the same time, I just can't say no to this woman. She's my kryptonite. Any suggestions on how to just say no to her and this lifestyle once and for all?

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