children before spouse?

I've read two different schools of opinion here on TAM.. 1) spouse before child -- they are with you until death (Lord willing), while the children leave when they become adults 2) never let your spouse make you choose between them and the kids, if so, always choose the kid.. I tend to agree with 1 usually -- I can see some circumstances where I'd choose 2 though. But I wonder if it's between step-parent and kid, to always choose the kid over the spouse? I'm a little confused.. could someone straighten me out?

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