| Hi again... Today I called my husband as I was leaving work. I proposed we work out together and then afterwards we would go out to dinner, because last night he had mentioned taking me out someplace. His response was that we stay in and he'll cook me a meal instead, and he's really been planning this for a while and this is what he really wants to do... Which, hey, I am behind that idea. He's making an effort to be romantic, and I can appreciate that. But it seems like every time we're going to do something that may cost money (even small amounts) he freaks out. Or he suddenly wants to do something frugal. And it seems like these sudden bursts of frugality are always disguised as things he "was planning all day". I'm not a spendthrift. I am a fan of budgeting and low-cost fun. This isn't me asking him to take me to a 5-star dinner or whirlwind night on the town every week. This is me asking to go to Olive Garden or equivalent twice a month. Or asking to get a discounted ticket for a local attraction. And we aren't hurting financially. I'm active duty and make a decent paycheck, he gets the GI Bill (which, since I pay for all the bills and the house, is completely free to go to whatever we want). But every time I suggest we budget his income he's very against it. I tried to ask him to help me with repayment of our credit card/loans and showed him a spreadsheet of how much his GI Bill would help us - by myself, I can have everything paid off by late spring 2015. With his help, it could be done by summer next year. But he's stubborn. He insists he's not comfortable with budgeting more than 200 dollars (of his 2100 from GI Bill) towards bills. I don't see how this is a problem...? I have been planning a vacation at the end of the year for MONTHS. Saving my money, saving my leave days so I can see my family and my best friend's new baby. He dropped on me that his friend in Texas is getting married a few days before my birthday so he's going to Texas and we may not be able to afford my vacation. Him cutting his trip short or not going was never an option, but my trip is. The long and short of this is: I feel put upon. I basically have no fun money (I'm paying all the bills) and he isn't willing to help. He'll throw me a bone occasionally (paying part of one bill here and there) but overall I feel like his GI Bill is "his" fun money and I'm just stuck here watching him blow it all on whatever he wants! Every time I mention something that's important but will cost money it's vetoed. Our dog is almost 2 and not neutered because it's not important enough (oh, and he has aggression issues, but training is too expensive and we don't have the time for it). Our couch is broken but we don't need a new one apparently. Our bed doesn't have a bedframe and is literally a borrowed mattress sitting on the floor. Our silverware is breaking as we use it. It seems like his idea of saving money is we never spend it, buy as cheap as possible, and just use things until they fall apart, whereas mine is to spend more one time and have something of quality that we can maintain. I can't afford all these things on my own, I really need his help. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you. | |||
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