| Please hear me out. I have been married for almost 10 years (we are both mid 30). We have 3 young kids, an amazing house, loving and supportive family around us and until recently a fairly happy marriage. He isnt perfect and has let me down emotionally many times over the years. As life has gotten busier we have lost sight of our relationship and grown apart. He doesnt put any effort into making time for us except to have quick sex. He feels that going to work and making money is his contribution and all that is required of him. I have been taking care of him, the 3 kids, the dog, the house and every detail of our lives for the past 10 years. I am so tired of the responsibility, i am so tired of meeting everyone elses needs, i am so tired of NO ONE taking care of me. I dont feel like me anymore. I feel like i live for everyone elses happiness. Recently a close male family friend has told me of his attraction to me and that he is in love with me. I love him dearly as a friend but am also attracted to him. Also, another man i know from work has been very blunt about his attraction to me. He has come on to me several times very aggresavely and twice i have let him touch me and kiss me. I have NEVER in the 15 years of being with my husband EVER cheated on him before. I am sick to my stomach about my attraction to these two men and the things that I WANT to do with them. I wake up every monring telling myself i am going to cut them out of my life as much as possible but within a few hours I feel so empty with my life i find myself reaching out to them. Their attention and attraction to me is so gratifing. I love that they want me, and I love that they are thinking about me all the time. I love the way that they can make me feel like "me" again. My husband and I are in the very early stages of starting counseling (insruance red tape...). I really dont want to cause him any hurt. I still love him but after so long of not caring about myself I am feeling like i just want to be selfish and do what makes me happy. I welcome all comments and feedback. | |||
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