| Hello everyone, I am married with 2 children by my wife. We have been together for over 5 years and were up until recently happy. I want to give you a little background on my wife's life and then we will move forward. My wife had been adopted at 2 by her birth mothers cousin. She was taken from TX to MN and raised by her adoptive parents. Her parents had 3 more children naturally after getting her. The father was very abusive both physically and mentally to all the children but the mother seemed to focus the father on my wife rather than her natural children. My wife over time by admission of her siblings became the family punching bag. She would step in and take the punishment and tell her father that she had done whatever made him mad to save her siblings. Her father was a ruthless man who never listened to excused because everything was the children's fault regardless of the situation. My mother in law tried to keep her children away from my wi fe and would not allow them to play with her be around her much, at the age of 11 they moved her into the basement of the home and would ground her for months on end. At 14 she was raped in her school bathroom. When i asked her why she didn't tell or scream she said it was because if she got caught in the bathroom she would have been in trouble and if she told about the rape she was afraid her father would beat her and tell her it was her fault as well. she told a friend and she told her to just deal with it because it happens all the time. she had lost a friend because of this situation as well. As she had promised him her virginity as they were friends since childhood and they wanted to be each others first. He told her he never wanted to talk to her again. She said she felt like no one had ever wanted her as her birth mother had three more children as well. Now she said she became sexually active and began messing around some. At the age of 15 she was working at a grocery store and one of her friends asked if she would like to go to a party at the university and she said sure. She went and her friend went to the back room and left her up front. There were two men, one much older and the other in his late teens. They offered her a drink and she said about an hour later she began falling asleep in the chair when the older gentleman pulled her up and led her to the bedroom. she said he raped her then got up and the other guy came in and did the same. she said she woke up the next morning on the floor and her friend was telling her it was time to leave. they never talked about it and never hung out again. now she moves in with her birth mother and her step father began molesting her at night while her mother was at work. he would tell her that if she didnt go with it he would do it to her little sister. She eventually told and he was detained and it came out that he had actually been raping her sister. Now her Adoptive father picks her up and brings her back to MN. She continued to sleep with any guy that would either show attention or just attempt it. At 18 she decided to join the Army Reserves and get the college fund to pay for school. She attended Basic and AIT and graduated successfully. She returned home and the next day her Drill Sergeant called her and asked if he could come see her. He came the next day and asked her to move in with him. She went and after two weeks he had, had her spend all the money she had saved on his truck. He took her to the strip club and had a stripper approach her and tell her how much money she could make stripping and he advised her that it would be good so she could help pay the bills. She danced for 6 months and left him, once again began sleeping with men, sometimes for a place to stay or something to eat. Now a good NCO in the army got her and told her to go active duty and get out of there as there was nothing for her there. She did this and came to Fort Riley, KS where i was stationed. I met her and we began dating. I had asked her before we got serious what her past was and she disclosed she had slept with 19 men. I wasnt happy with the number but I was no angel myself. Now fast forward five years and two children later. I would like to start out with the fact that I love her and she is faithful. She takes great care of the home and our children. She is quite literally an awesome woman to be married to. Never gave me a doubt of her faithfulness. She is a home body and rarely drinks, and never goes out. She is very dedicated to the family. BUT, she has been crying a lot lately and so I asked what was wrong. She informed me that she had not been honest about her past. She then went on to tell me all i have written above. I was floored to say the least and am torn on what to do. I feel as though my choice was taken from me. She admitted that she lied because she knew I wouldn't stay with her and I feel that is just wrong. I am now heavily committed in this relationship with love and children. I'm just rather lost. I understand that she had a bad life and so part of me says thats the reason why this all happened. But I cant help feeling anger be cause she lied to me and let me get so deep into this relationship. She told me things I could never imagine happening to a little girl. So could anyone please help me, i'm really struggling here. Thanks | |||
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