| I started dating my boyfriend in December; he's 21 and I'm 18. We clicked and we still do - but in the beginning, he was a lot more romantic and seemed much more interested. I've shared all of my "firsts" with him since and when we're together, we always have a great time. The issues started coming up a couple weeks ago, when we got into a routine where he'd put on a movie and we'd mess around which is great except it was EVERY time and I started feeling like I was being used. I brought this up to him and he was very patient and willing to try to understand, agreed and said he'd try to mix it up a little (of course, I said I'd try to think of ideas too) and definitely did not mean to make me feel that way. We mixed it up last time, went for a short date to the park in the evening; but that was it. We've slumped right back in to our norm. The sex is fantastic and he's very good at making me feel valued in bed, but I feel like that's the only place I fit into in his life right now and I want to be more than that. I'm not the kind of girlfriend that asks for much, in fact, I'm distant to a fault if anything. Do you think this is part of the problem? He's met my mom once for about three minutes while I finished getting ready, and none of my other family or friends, which is my own doing. I will go 2-3 days without texting him or contacting him at all - he mentioned it once so I've tried being better at it, but I still skip a day here and there. I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing myself into his life because he's the kind of person that needs his space and freedom (like myself) but on the other hand, I often feel like I'm pushing him away. Is this sending some message to him that I just want to be a friend with benefits of sorts? Because that's kind of how I'm feeling and was not what I was going for. Last night, he said something that has been driving me crazy all night and day - I wear my jeans pretty tight and when we were talking about me coming over he said, "You better not show up with those painted-on jeans again. Otherwise they might literally get torn off. But just don't. Because they're not very sexy, haha!" I'm sure he just wasn't thinking before he spoke or, rather... typed. And I'm probably just being overly sensitive, but it really flipping hurt! I'm worried he's saying that I'm not very sexy when I wear them and I only have a couple jeans to choose from XD and they basically all fit that way. It just adds to the problems that I think we already have. He has also mentioned that I'm not very aggressive in bed - I don't think I could ever be considered one of those "logs" but he's right in that I'm also not one to push him around and initiate new positions and stuff. I just feel very insecure that I won't be able to meet his expectations and though I know it's not that likely, could be the reasons why he's not giving me the attention and affection that I want. This is my first relationship. I never dated in high school, so it's all very new to me. I would really appreciate some honest answers and guidance, folks :) Thank you! | |||
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