Looks like a man...acts/thinks like a boy.

The title says it all as to how I feel about my H. The purpose of this post is to get some input on how to change this dynamic. For the women....did you feel the same way and how did you get H to realize his part and deal with it? For the men...did your W tell you that's how she felt and was she able to get through to you what she needed from you and what made you see it? In a nutshell, typical marriage failure on the verge of me filing for D. No communcation, respect, compromise, affection..pretty much all down the tubes. History- 20+ yrs 10+ married. 1 D=8. Both work and have contibuted $$ to the family consistently. I have also done all the "feminine" stuff, as well as taken care of kid, house, bills, entertainment, pretty much name it. I know it has enabled H to slack off and I ended up in the mother role to him also. I didn't take over because he is not capable, I know he is, but as he basically refuses to deal with pretty much everything, other than going to work (when he has work), I did it to protect D & I. He does help out with basics, trash, does dishes, laundry, cleans pool, plays w/ D, sometimes puts her to bed. But pretty much just sits back and lets me do the majority. I basically go through life as a single parent with access to a live in babysitter for D as needed. I am not avoiding my contribution to the failures nor am I blaming it all on him, we both did it. I am sure he has just as many gripes about me as I do him. I get it. But how can I change it? I would prefer this be a constructive post that many could benefit from who find themselves in similar situations. I just don't feel like I'm married to a man. So, any input/questions? Fire away please. Thanks

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