| :confused:My name is Ryan. I've been married for over 17 years and have 3 beautiful young children all under the age of 8 years. On Feb 12th my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I was devastated as you can expect as I had no idea this was coming. I begged her to give me a second chance. I've always had trouble displaying my emotions effectively and since we had our first child things haven't been totally "right" in our relationship but I just chalked it up to a rough patch of having young kids like alot of people go through. I guess from my perspective, after the we had I child I kinda lost a wife. All of that focus that used to be on me now shifted to our child and it only got worse after after the birth of our other two kids (twins). I realize now that I didn't know how to express the feelings I was having and it started to build up walls within me . I guess thats where a real disconnect started to happen with both of us. She saw me disconectin g and then started to build up her own walls. That started a negative spiral of emotianal withdraw for both of us. I still loved and her and do love her with all my heart and soul. 3 days after she told me this I find out she's having an emotional affair with an old high school sweethear from 20 years ago. We live 2000 miles away from where he is and they started communicating on facebook and via email and then to phone calls.. After I confronted her about it the affair went hot and heavy between them and hteir communication picked up. She initiated for us to go to counseling initially to see if the counselor could help me transition into the divorse and beyond. She says she had no idea that i felt so strongly for her still and that she tought I'd want to just walk away. Well I didn't and I don't. Our little kids and hte fact that i feel sh eis my soulmate and the love of my life isgiving me the determination to fight this as long as possible. She agreed to seek marriage counseling and to see counselling for herself as well. So we are both seeing counselors individually and as a couple. She had told me on March 6th that she would not contact him anymore . But a couple of times I found out that she had been looking at his facebook page and then i found her logged into HIS account one day. a couple of weeks later. The OM is amrried with two older daughters of is own and i've been in contact with his wife since the beginning (she told me about the affair). She text me yesterday and today telling me how he has finally broke off their marriage and even told his daughters about my wife and how they are going to be together. I just got the Divorce Remedy book In hopes of getting some help there. I've asked her to go to a Marriage bootcamp in Texas in a couple weeks and she agreed. We are all booked and committed to go. She has also told me that she would give me until the end of the school year to work on it. She doesn't want a separation to impact our daughters grades. She told me that she wouldn't contact the OM during this timeframe, but she's told me repeatedly over the last few weeks that she would stop contact and didn't totally keep her word. I'm very much afraid though since he has now called off his marriage and seems more determined than ever to possibly come here and be with her. Is there hope in my case? Can I save a marriage where she wants out and says she's in love with another man? | |||
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