| I'm 45 and DH is 41. We have been married about 5 years and this is the second marriage for both of us. I will try and keep this as short as possible... thank you in advance for any insight you can offer. I'm at a loss and so sad. Essentially when DH and I first got together we could not keep our hands off of one another. We both agreed that sex was very important in a relationship and spoke often of how we would always work to maintain our connection in the event of any red flags. (In the beginning it was very hard to even imagine WE would ever have any sexual issues...) Fast forward to now... sex has gradually been declining in frequency and quality. Even the day to day things that keep intimacy sparked between a man and woman are dwindling. Less frequent touching and attention from DH... no flirting... no compliments....basically nothing unless we are going to have sex. I've had to work hard to overcome security issues (previous DH was a cheat and used sex as punishment) and this is going to set me back if I don't get a handle on it soon. DH does have borderline low T... my guess he's always been borderline but wasn't as much of an issue since our relationship started long distance and we did not see each other often. Although we had regular (pretty much every night phone sex). For the last 4.5 years sex has been frequent... not too many issues really. DH sometimes (every few months) experiences ED even though he says he wants me... he says all the signals are firing mentally but the body is not responding. The first few times this happened it was horrible for both of us. Essentially because of the ED - DH is now in charge of when sex happens because he knows if his body is going to respond or not. This has pretty much cut me off from initiating... this was something I never minded and enjoyed and felt it was just as important to be the initiator. I have always been HD and liked to be the initiator. Sex seems to happen on Friday and Saturday-- sometimes Sunday. DH says he needs time to recover so typically sex has been every other day during the week. Now we are down to just the weekends... and maybe once in the week. I can see where this is headed. I have been growing more and more confused. Not sure what I can or can't do--- initiating is out. I don't even feel as free to participate when we do have sex because I don't know if I am going to do something wrong. I just have to wait on him to take the lead. Over the course of all of this mess... I am getting less and less interested. Maybe even resentful.... I'm not sure. I'm tired of having my breast tweaked for 10-15 seconds... then a few seconds of kissing... then oral... maybe PIV if he's already hard. DH always finishes me first so I can't complain about that. We have pretty much had what I would consider a pretty great sex life outside of the few bumps we've encountered.... but it all seems to be going downhill fast. Last night he tried to initiate and I was NOT feeling it. We last had sex on Sunday. He went to reach for me and I broke down crying. He never asked what was wrong and we both went to sleep. What is going on? I love my husband so much... I never imagined us having this problem. He has always treated me very well... but things are different and I don't know why. I'm afraid if we don't get to the bottom of this it will eventually destroy our marriage. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment